Man

Man Jokes

There once was a man that wanted to join a group of right-handed men, but he wrote with the other hand. He got left behind.

What did the people in 9/11 say when they got the wrong pizza? Man, they got it wrong, I wanted this shitty plane!

I asked the orphan if he wanted to watch all the Tom Holland Spider-Man movies with me, and he started crying.

Why do more men than women support abortion? So they can keep raping women and the victims will just abort their kids to not have to relive the experience!

If you buy two condoms, but you're banging a woman, it's fine, don't throw it away, just make her transgender.

I dunno man, worked for me.

Who was the meanest man in the world?

He raped Helen Keller and threw her down a well, but not before cutting off her fingers so she couldn't yell for help.

A wise man once told me: "If you poke the bear in prison, the bear will happily return the favor when it's time to shower."

Me: Do you ever just walk into a room and forget what you were doing?

Bank teller: [eyes wide] Uhhhhh...

Me: *scratches head with gun* Man, I hate it when this happens.

So, a man goes to church and is dipped in water three times by a Priest as he says, "From now on your name is Michael, and you will shed your sins of gambling and alcohol."

Soon after, the man heads home and rushes to the fridge to grab a can of beer. He turns on the sink and dips the beer can in the water three times while saying, "From now on you will be known as Not Alcohol."

A plane is about to crash into the ocean, and the passengers are freaking out.

A woman stands up, takes off her clothes, and says, "Before I go, is there a man man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

A man stands up, takes off his shirt, and says, "Here, iron this!"