Some man was walking too slow, so I told him to Mufasa.
What does a pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common?
They can both smell it, but they can’t eat it.
My man is a pussy cunt that sucks my dick.
Joke's on him, he just asked me for bobs and vegana.
Why did the man decide to work at a pizza place?
Because he kneaded the dough!
How do you poop?
Man: Did you know pidgins die after having sex?
Woman: No, really?
Man: Well, the one I fucked did...
A man looks at his friend and says, "If you and a friend go camping and you two get really drunk, and in the morning you wake up with a condom in your butt, would you tell anyone?" The friend says in a disgusted tone, "No." So the man says, "Okay, let's go camping."
Why could the blind man not see?
Answer: Because he is blind.
What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? "Tie won shu."
A man opened a snail farm.
He said that it is a slow-moving business.
Jim walks into a bar and asks for a shot of vodka. He then says to the barkeep, "Who's the toughest guy in here?"
The barkeep points to a man at the pool table. Jim then knocked him out and paid for the shot and left. He did this every Friday for 2 months. Finally, the barkeep is pissed because Jim keeps knocking out all of his customers. He then orders a gorilla and puts him in the bathroom.
Jim walks into the bar and gets another shot of vodka. He asks again, "Who's the toughest guy in here tonight?" The bartender points to the bathroom and says he's in there. Jim walks into the bathroom and everyone in the bar can hear yelling and screaming. The bartender asks, "What happened in there?" Jim smiles and says, "I don't know who that was, but when he wakes up tell him I put his fur jacket in the toilet."
The deaf man said to the waiter:
"Mmmm."
The waiter said, "No English."
Then the deaf man signed, "F U."
A man goes to a restaurant and asks for some chili.
The waiter said, "Sorry sir, this is an Asian restaurant."
So he stretches his eyes and says, "Oh herro, can I get some chiri?"
The other day a man with some cheese and milk attacked me... how dairy!
A man tried to shoot Adolf Hitler, but missed. Then Adolf replied, "Oh shoot, I did nazi that coming!"
Stephen Hawking was an unfaithful man. He had an affair with Alexa.
What did the little boy say to the fat man?
How many Japs did you get?
Man, my Muslim friend's the bomb!
Why did the man fall off his bike?
Because someone threw a refrigerator at him.
This gay guy was so happy with his new boyfriend that he took him to his favorite gay bar.
An hour or so goes by, then the new flame says, "I just LOVE this place, everyone is so nice, food is great, but what's up with the monkey way down there?"
His friend says "OK, watch this." He goes up behind the chimp and smacked him in back of its head. The monkey jumped off the stool, pulls down his zipper, and gives him head. When finished, the chimp took a napkin, cleaned himself, pulled up his zipper, then jumped back to his chair.
He walked back to his new gay friend and said, "What do you think of that?"
"MAN, I seen some amazing things, but never like that!" His squeeze said, "Wanna give it a try?"
"I sure do, JUST DON'T hit me as hard as you hit that monkey."
