Make jokes
Three men were captured by a tribe and tortured. The leader of the tribe tells them that they would live only if they could achieve one thing: They had to go out and find 10 pieces of the same fruit each.
The first person returned with apples. The leader said that he had to put all 10 of them up into his ass without making a sound, or he would be killed. 1... 2... he screamed.
The next person came back with grapes. 1, 2, 3, he counted up to 8, but began to burst out laughing; he was killed. In heaven, the first man asked him why he laughed if he was doing so well. "Well, I saw the third guy coming back with fucking pineapples!"
Guys, we shouldn't make jokes about 9/11. My dad was a victim.
He was the best pilot in Arab.
Your mama is so ugly! Ghostface from Scream won't even make that call!
Why couldn’t the guy make bubbles?
He couldn’t find the right solution.
What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.
Any singular person who makes fun of the Chinese in any of these posts is deemed a 他妈的傻逼.
Joke not up for debate.
I got some new jeans yesterday, until I realized they didn't fit me around the waist, so I went looking for a belt. I couldn't find one. Then I had a really good idea. I could attach a ton of watches together to make a belt! But then I just thought it was a waste of time.
A teacher asks her class, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Little Johnny says “I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best b*tch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day.”
The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. “And you, Susie?” the teacher asks. Susie says “I wanna be Johnny’s b*tch.”
Why can't orphans be in charge of making web pages?
Because they can't add a home page.
Can anyone answer this riddle? Apparently this is the world's hardest riddle! Good luck 😝
“I turn polar bears white, and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee, and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid, and normal people look like celebrities.”
Hey guys, I’m back, just wondering if anyone is still on this that wants me to make more.
What type of bee can't make up his mind?
A maybe.
Why did the Asian parents have an Asian baby?
Two wongs don't make a white.
The worst comedians take 9 months to make a joke. Then they spend the rest of their lives trying to forget it.
Why can't poor people write jokes?
Because they make no cents.
What's 10 inches and makes women scream?
Cot death!
"This isn't the first time my husband's cheated on me, but you're my sister! You'd better have a better explanation than this magic lamp."
"You know how you have to be specific making wishes? Well, I was really horny and asked the genie to have the world's biggest penis....ended up with a concert pianist that's seven foot tall. Nice guy. Next time I tried, I asked for the world's biggest cock, that was fun but the poor rooster died. So I asked for the world's biggest dick and that's how I ended up on top of your husband."
Son: Mom, is it possible to make a strawberry cake for me?
Mom: No, that's impossible.
Son: But it is possible for your secret boyfriend, right?
Mom: No, no, please don't tell your dad. I will make a strawberry cake for you.
Son: Daddy has already tasted your sweet strawberry cake, so because of that, I felt jealous ^_^
Why did God make the devils die?
God is great!
How did the chicken get to the other side? He crossed the road and didn't make it.