Make jokes

What’s the difference between a WNBA player and a rotten apple? The apple has a chance to make it into the basket.

How do you make a body disappear?

You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!

P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.

What makes jokes because it's lonely and a complete and utter loser?

This guy, yep, this guy right here.

Yo mama is so fat that Naruto couldn't make enough shadow clones to surround her.

What makes laissez-faire and a gangbang the same?

Not my problem.

A guy walks into a restaurant and orders turtle soup. The waiter hollers, "One turtle soup!"

A moment later, the guy calls the waiter over and says, "I’ve changed my mind, I would like pea soup." The waiter hollers, "Hold the turtle, and make it pea!"

Me: Mom, can I have some makeup?

Mom: No. You are beautiful just the way you are.

Me: So that’s why you wear makeup?

So I went to my friend's house and he told me to make myself at home, so I kicked him out. I don't like visitors.

Why can't orphans go to a friend's house?

Because they can't make themselves at home.

I make phones for orphans. Sadly, it has no home button.

Milk makes you tall, right?

Well how did you get tall if your dad didn't come back with the milk?

What makes Mrs. Grape 🍇 a good mother?

Raisin' her kids!

What's the difference between a blowjob and cough syrup?

They can both give you relief and make you gag at the same time.

I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I'm going home for the hollandaise.

Stop making 9/11 jokes, guys! My uncle died in that event. He was the best Arabian pilot in the world!

Your hairline was so fat that Joe Biden could not make it prime minister.

Me: "Cya"

Mom: "Where ya going?"

Me: "The orphanage to make yo mama jokes."

Mum: ...

You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.

Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.

But at least lemonade came out!

What do you call an artist who couldn't make it as Hitler?

Tried making 9/11 jokes, but none of it kept falling apart.