Make jokes

There were these two guys in a lunatic asylum... and one night, they decide they don't like living in an asylum anymore. They decide they're going to escape!

So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moonlight... stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn't dare make the leap. You see... You see, he's afraid of falling.

So then, the first guy has an idea... He says "Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!" B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... He says "Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!"

How do skyscrapers make friends?

They reach out.

Bro, why are you making an avalanche by that big forehead? No wonder why snow was found on Mars.

I should probably stop making jokes about bulimia. They just leave a bad taste in my mouth.

My reverse psychologist told me I didn't have it in me to make a recovery.

I would make a joke about fat people, but they already have enough on their plate.

God needed an extra two hands to make your fat ass of a mother.

Sister: You're so stupid.

Me: Calling me stupid doesn't make you any smarter!

Chris Hemsworth is Australian, and Thor is from space. Does that make him an Australien?

Yo mama is so fat when she goes to the dentist, they make her lay face down.

Yo hairline so long, it makes you look like Mr. Clean.

I never make that type of joke. They always seem to crash and burn.

How do you make a cat say woof? You cover it in petrol and light a match.

It’s amazing just how paranoid Hitler was.

In Hitler’s Germany, it was illegal to make jokes about him or his regime.

Come on! Forbidding Germans from making jokes? Isn’t that a bit like forbidding Americans from eating salad?

If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.

So I could put kids inside you.

Why did God steal a rib from Adam and make a woman out of it?

God wanted to show that nothing sensible can come of stealing!

I’d make a Kobe joke, it just wouldn’t land right.

Food makers are proudly presenting human flesh-made foods. Donate your useless friends and family to us because we're saving lives.

T and C apply. This is only in the best shops in your town, or down the road, or in your country. 1 like = 1 family member donated 'cause we're saving lives😎😎

What’s 9 inches long and makes my girlfriend scream?

One inch and put it in her. Her miscarriage.

They say I have a silver tongue, I'll let you make it white.