Make jokes
Why don't Chinese children believe in Santa?
Because they're the ones making the toys.
What do sex and food have in common?
Grandma makes both better.
Why do vegans like to make their food look and taste like meat?
Same reason lesbians use strap-ons. They still like putting meat in their hole, but they don’t like where real meat comes from.
How do you make a dishwasher work again?
Smack her ass and say "get back to work!"
I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waste of time.
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"They can move it, move it." (from King Julian)
My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry...
So I threw a coconut at her.
What makes a 360 no-scope and JFK's assassination similar?
Both were some of the greatest achievements in history to achieve.
We should really stop making jokes about orphans. Their parents will get mad.
What makes William Afton and a boomerang common?
They always come back.
Mom: You will make me kill myself.
Me who has cut first: I'll kill myself ✨first✨!
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?"
"Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."
It’s true women do make less money than men.
But it’s their fault because they choose the lower paying jobs. Men, for example, choose the higher paying jobs like doctor or lawyer. Whereas women choose the lower paying jobs like women doctor and women lawyer.
What’s the only advantage of being an orphan?
Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.
I asked the gym instructor,
"Can you teach me to do the splits?"
"How flexible are you?" he asked.
"Well, I can't make it on Fridays."
Q: What did the porn actress say when she opened the door?
A: Make sure to come upstairs!
What do you call it when everyone of your friends makes too many dumb Covid jokes? A pundemic.
Can anyone answer this riddle? Apparently this is the world's hardest riddle! Good luck 😝
“I turn polar bears white, and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee, and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid, and normal people look like celebrities.”
Dude,
if you stab a cereal box, will that make you a cereal killer?
This emo kid wanted to join a group of emos, but he didn't make the cut.