Make jokes

When his dick is really, really small, but you pretend it is so big it hurts so you don’t make him feel bad 'cause he is a nice guy.

"911, what’s your emergency?" I asked, listening to the quiet sobs of a little kid on the other end of the line.

“I think my daddy want to kill me,” the girl said and cried, making me freeze on the spot as I recognized my daughter’s voice.

Can anyone answer this riddle? Apparently this is the world's hardest riddle! Good luck 😝

“I turn polar bears white, and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee, and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid, and normal people look like celebrities.”

If you eat her out on her period, does that make you Cunt Dracula?

It’s true women do make less money than men.

But it’s their fault because they choose the lower paying jobs. Men, for example, choose the higher paying jobs like doctor or lawyer. Whereas women choose the lower paying jobs like women doctor and women lawyer.

A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?"

"Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."

Mom: You will make me kill myself.

Me who has cut first: I'll kill myself ✨first✨!

Why am I still alive?

Pills give me stomachaches, blood makes me faint, height frightens me...

Why make a joke when I wake up and look at myself?

What makes William Afton and a boomerang common?

They always come back.

This emo kid wanted to join a group of emos, but he didn't make the cut.

How do you make a blind person jealous? You ask if it's a nice day out.

You need to eat makeup on the inside because, friend, you're so ugly and you're not even pretty on the outside.

What commitment does a pimp make to each new hoe he turns out?

Answer: He will always be there for her after the break-in period.

I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waste of time.

There are too many suicidal people in this world. I’m going to make sure there is at least one less.

If having sex for money makes you a wh*re, then what does having sex for free make you?

Non-profit wh*reganisation.

My favorite place to make a bonfire? Orphanages, of course, silly!

My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest, telling her we can get married once she makes her way out.

Why don't Chinese children believe in Santa?

Because they're the ones making the toys.