Make jokes

We should really stop making jokes about orphans. Their parents will get mad.

My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest, telling her we can get married once she makes her way out.

Why don't Chinese children believe in Santa?

Because they're the ones making the toys.

What do sex and food have in common?

Grandma makes both better.

What do you call it when everyone of your friends makes too many dumb Covid jokes? A pundemic.

My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry...

So I threw a coconut at her.

Q: What did the porn actress say when she opened the door?

A: Make sure to come upstairs!

Your ma is so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke.

How do you make a dishwasher work again?

Smack her ass and say "get back to work!"

What’s the only advantage of being an orphan?

Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.

I asked the gym instructor,

"Can you teach me to do the splits?"

"How flexible are you?" he asked.

"Well, I can't make it on Fridays."

"911, what’s your emergency?" I asked, listening to the quiet sobs of a little kid on the other end of the line.

“I think my daddy want to kill me,” the girl said and cried, making me freeze on the spot as I recognized my daughter’s voice.

It’s true women do make less money than men.

But it’s their fault because they choose the lower paying jobs. Men, for example, choose the higher paying jobs like doctor or lawyer. Whereas women choose the lower paying jobs like women doctor and women lawyer.

Can anyone answer this riddle? Apparently this is the world's hardest riddle! Good luck 😝

“I turn polar bears white, and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee, and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid, and normal people look like celebrities.”

Dude,

if you stab a cereal box, will that make you a cereal killer?

What makes William Afton and a boomerang common?

They always come back.

Mom: You will make me kill myself.

Me who has cut first: I'll kill myself ✨first✨!

A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?"

"Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."

Why make a joke when I wake up and look at myself?

Why am I still alive?

Pills give me stomachaches, blood makes me faint, height frightens me...