Make jokes
Why make a joke when I wake up and look at myself?
Mom: You will make me kill myself.
Me who has cut first: I'll kill myself ✨first✨!
This emo kid wanted to join a group of emos, but he didn't make the cut.
How do you make a blind person jealous? You ask if it's a nice day out.
When his dick is really, really small, but you pretend it is so big it hurts so you don’t make him feel bad 'cause he is a nice guy.
What commitment does a pimp make to each new hoe he turns out?
Answer: He will always be there for her after the break-in period.
You need to eat makeup on the inside because, friend, you're so ugly and you're not even pretty on the outside.
I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waste of time.
Q: What did the porn actress say when she opened the door?
A: Make sure to come upstairs!
How do you make a blow job OSHA compliant? You add a railing!
There are two siblings, a little brother and a big brother. Now, the big brother had a girlfriend, and one night they decided to go and have sex. So, the bigger brother goes to pick up his girlfriend one night and take her home. So they get to the bigger brother's house and walk into his room. Now the two siblings shared the room, and they had bunk beds. When they walked in the room, they saw the little brother asleep in the bottom bunk, so they went up to the top bunk to have sex. The big brother says, "Whenever you feel good, say 'lettuce,' and whenever you want to switch positions say 'tomato'." The girl constantly is saying "lettuce, tomato," and then the little brother wakes up. He quietly remarks, "Can you guys stop making sandwiches? You're getting mayonnaise all over me."
I'm going to make a city just for people with special needs.
I'll call it Downtown.
What is an orphan's dad's job?
A magician because he makes himself disappear.
I love the way the Earth rotates.
It really makes my day!
Why do goalkeepers have so much money in the bank?
Because they are really good at saving.
Wife: (on phone) Hi. Husband: Hey, I didn’t know dishwashers talk and make me a sandwich.
Your kid is so annoying, he makes his Happy Meal cry.
How do you make a suicidal guy go bungee jumping?
Tie the bungee cord around his neck.
How do you make Stephen Hawking mad?
You turn off the WiFi router.
Seeing one of her students making faces at others in the playground, Mrs. Matthews stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the teacher said, "When I was a child, I was told if I made ugly faces I would stay like that."
The student looked up and replied, "Well, you can’t say you weren’t warned, Mrs. Matthews!"