Make jokes
What's red, 6 inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry when I feed it to her?
Her miscarriage.
How do you know when your girlfriend is too young?
You have to make airplane noises to get her to open her mouth.
Sorry.
What did scientists prove when they saw a skeleton on the moon?
The cow didn’t make it.
I was making vegetable soup yesterday, but the wheelchair wouldn’t fit.
What do you call it when everyone of your friends makes too many dumb Covid jokes? A pundemic.
Memes
me when i realized that buildings don't make earth any heavier cuz all the materials were already used on it.
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?"
"Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."
What makes William Afton and a boomerang common?
They always come back.
Why am I still alive?
Pills give me stomachaches, blood makes me faint, height frightens me...
Why make a joke when I wake up and look at myself?
This emo kid wanted to join a group of emos, but he didn't make the cut.
How do you make a blind person jealous? You ask if it's a nice day out.
What’s the only advantage of being an orphan?
Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.
Can anyone answer this riddle? Apparently this is the world's hardest riddle! Good luck 😝
“I turn polar bears white, and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee, and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid, and normal people look like celebrities.”
It’s true women do make less money than men.
But it’s their fault because they choose the lower paying jobs. Men, for example, choose the higher paying jobs like doctor or lawyer. Whereas women choose the lower paying jobs like women doctor and women lawyer.
I asked the gym instructor,
"Can you teach me to do the splits?"
"How flexible are you?" he asked.
"Well, I can't make it on Fridays."
"911, what’s your emergency?" I asked, listening to the quiet sobs of a little kid on the other end of the line.
“I think my daddy want to kill me,” the girl said and cried, making me freeze on the spot as I recognized my daughter’s voice.
If you eat her out on her period, does that make you Cunt Dracula?
When his dick is really, really small, but you pretend it is so big it hurts so you don’t make him feel bad 'cause he is a nice guy.
You need to eat makeup on the inside because, friend, you're so ugly and you're not even pretty on the outside.
Mom: You will make me kill myself.
Me who has cut first: I'll kill myself ✨first✨!