Make jokes

What's the same thing between a baby and a grenade?

They both make a sound when thrown.

There was a person who sent ten different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

Does this sentence make any sense?

I'd make a masturbation joke.

But they always get out of hand.

The point of war is not to die for your country, but to make the fresh recruit on the enemy's side die for his.

Q: What's the difference between Jeffrey Epstein and wind chimes?

A: Wind chimes don't make a gurgling sound when they're hung.

Why are you making all these bad jokes about orphans? What did they ever do to you?

Why can't disabled people make jokes?

Well, it's called Stand-Up comedy, isn't it?

How can you tell if Google is a girl?

It makes suggestions before you finish your sentence!

Who comes once a year and makes your kids cry?

Rapey Santa.

I wanted to make a joke about dandruff.

People are still scratching their heads over it.

True story: In 1986, in the midst of the HIV epidemic, they made condoms available to the public. At that time, me and my boyfriend were 13 years old. My boyfriend was so happy: "These will make great water balloons!" And I was even happier. I did not have to pack a lunch for school tomorrow, lol.

How do you make the world’s greatest Harlem Shake?

Throw a flashbang into a room full of epileptics.

When the school shooter makes the emo kid hang himself and the autistic kid thinks it's a piñata: 🤪🏏

Chesley, in horror, runs out of the cockpit of the plane coming from London, "I'm so very sorry, everyone. I punched the wrong buttons, and we are heading to DC instead of New York, and we are about to run out of fuel." He opens the door and turns around to the five passengers and exclaimed, "I've parachutes but miscounted. We only got four for the passengers." He jumps off.

Donald faced the other four and orders:

"I'm the greatest leader of the world, and I'll make the decision. Tony, you go first. Our country needs you. The whole wide world needs you. Pandemic is raging."

Tony jumps off.

"Francis, my friend, you go next. Pandemic is ravaging the mind and body of millions. Their soul needs saving. Save Vladimir's and Xi's for me."

Francis jumps off.

Hillary faced Donald furiously. "Who are you to make decisions for us? I should have been president. I'm the smartest woman in the whole world in history."

Hillary jumps off.

Donald gazed at the young woman and started talking: "I'm an old man. I have already lived a full life - beautiful wives, children, just a beautiful life. Just beautiful. I've become president of the most powerful country, the most beautiful, the richest. Regrets? I've made a few but did it my way. Greta, go on. Your future is bright. I just wish I can make my country great again and have the chance to help save the world with you. I believe in second chances. Look at my bankruptcies, believe me. And I wish I've played more golf and..."

Greta interjected, "Just shut the f* up. The plane is about to crash. Let's go and save the world. The smartest woman in history took my backpack!"

It's amazing how dog owners can make their dogs shout different things. For example, Czech dogs go "barf," American dogs go "woof," and Chinese dogs go "sizzle."

How do you make an emo mad at you?

Cut the rope.

Q: How do you make a 9/11 cocktail? A: Light two Manhattans on fire and then knock them over.

I tried out some puns to make people laugh, but no pun in ten did.

Some of you people on here are complete incels and need to learn how to spell and properly construct simplistic grammatical sentences that actually make sense.