Make jokes
What did a magic house 🏠 do?
Make someone in a wheelchair.
Why couldn’t the dwarf husband make his wife pregnant?
Because of his short cummings.
What can you do for a magic house?
Make it fly!
If my cat was a cactus, doesn't that make him a catus?
Adding a "gl" in front of "camping" doesn't make it any better.
If you add a "gl" in front of "Adolf Hitler," it doesn't make him a great guy.
Welcome to the abortion clinic. You make 'em, we scrape 'em. No fetus can beat us.
What makes it cold in a room? Air conditioning.
Q: Why are the 49ers called the 49ers?
A: 'Cause they can't make it past the 50-yard line.
My husband told me to make him a sandwich. I was looking online for some comebacks. Someone online said, "You better come back with a goddamn sandwich!"
Why do New Yorkers get what Spider-Man is saying?
Because he always makes spider-sense.
I've just started a new business making people breathe in large amounts of helium. They all speak very highly of it.
You can make fun of adopted kids all you want. What are they going to do, tell their parents on you? Lol.
My cat sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365. Her meals are provided at no cost to her. She visits the doctor once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this she pays nothing, and nothing is required of her.
She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep. If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free. She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.
I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, Holy Sh*t, my cat is a Democrat!
So what is the difference between a real doctor and a doctor of philosophy?
One cures the sick and the other makes them sick!
Why does Samsung sell TVs? 'Cause they make them! 😂🤣
Why is Santa make-believe?
Because he is fake!
What sound does a nut make when it sneezes? Cashew.
Why can't two Asians make a white baby?
Because two wongs don't make a white.
Hi, welcome to Dave's Orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?
I wanted to have sex, but I share a room with my brother, so we made a code. "Tomato" for faster, and "cheese" for more, and I shouted, "Tomato, tomato, cheese, cheese." My brother said, "Stop making sandwiches, you're getting mayo on my bed!"