Doctor, what is wrong with me?
You will never be able to walk again. It ain't like with me on the field it would make the Miami Dolphins any better.
Two sticks only make a fire.
Why did the beans fuck the mum to make bouncing beans?
How does Moses make his tea?
He Brews!!!
these jokes make me want to die
Dad: How was your trip to the park?
Daughter: It was good until the man came along.
Dad: *gasps* Whatever happened, it wasn't your fault, but tell Daddy, what happened?
Daughter: He made my friends go away so it was just me and him... then he took my dress off...
Dad: Oh God, what next?
Daughter: Nothing, that was it.
Dad: Oh, come on! That wasn't exciting, make something up!
My mom asked me to stop making jokes about suicide.
I answered, "Don't worry... I'll stop soon."
Why did they make bus stops? So the bus driver would know where to pick the orphan up.
Ex-Boyfriend: You have no ass, so we're through!
Me: Stop being a dickhead, dude!! It ain't gonna make your little sausage any bigger!
Two muffins are sitting in a bar.
The first muffin says to the bartender, "I'll have the usual."
The second one does not say anything to the bartender because muffins lack the vocal ability of humans, and even with the proper anatomy capable of speech access, they would most certainly be entirely unable to comprehend the human language. In fact, the first muffin would indefinitely not be able to provide speech to the bartender. The muffins also lack the muscular structure to be capable of support themselves to being suspended also preventing their access to movement. Even with the human-like structure, muffins lack brains, which are an essential part of being able to send nerve contact within the legs to be able to move. Also, with them lacking a brain structure entirely prevents them from speech. The anatomy simply prohibits the food items mentioned to be able to carry out any of the tasks required to get them to said bar and be able to speak, thus making the situation untruthful and completely idiotic.
If you're pan, all you have to do is get a sibling and make them get your parents to the outside of the pantry, and you burst out and then say you're pansexual!
Seems very long. You won't remember the telephone number...
I remember it like this from school days in Ireland.
Dolly Parton is shopping for a new bra. A lady says, "Your size is 69." Dolly says, "No way, that's too too too (222) big." So she goes to the doctor. "Doc, I need something to make my boobs smaller." "Here, take (51) pills for 6 days (x6)," and so she did. Days later, she ran back to the doc, "Jesus Christ doctor, look what happened. I'm BOOBLESS!" 55378008 upside down.
If I look after chickens, does that make me a chicken tender?
What do orphans use to make breakfast? My ass! 🤣🤣
"Stop, that's mean! You're making fun of people with Down syndrome!"
There is a young lady.
She is beautiful.
She got much vote.
But she speaks very fast.
Does she think she looks smart doing that?
She makes me feel bad.
My boy is so distracted and the kids are doing great. I will be make $500000.
Video games don't make people violent, lag does.
What do you call a magician that makes beer? Brew-dini?
I asked a Japanese chef how to make a good bowl of ramen, he said "Let me show you."
