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If you spin a fidget spinner, You'll end up spinning it too fast. When you end up spinning it too fast, it will make you fly away. When you fly away, you'll end up in a tree. When you end up in a tree, you'll see that your friends are hanging out without you. When you see that your friends are hanging out without you, you'll run away in the woods because you're sad. When you ran away in the woods, you'll see a bear. When you see a bear, it will chase you. When the bear chases you, you'll build a fort to protect yourself. When you build a fort to protect yourself, you then notice you're lonely. You'll become friends with the bear. When you become friends with a bear, you'll start to act like a bear. When you start to act like a bear, you will become a bear.

DO NOT BECOME A BEAR! NEVER PLAY WITH A FIDGET SPINNER!

Let's make a joke on how depressing Monday is to ignore how depressing everyday is.

Why couldn’t the dwarf husband make his wife pregnant?

Because of his short cummings.

  • 3

    • Adding a "gl" in front of "camping" doesn't make it any better.

    If you add a "gl" in front of "Adolf Hitler," it doesn't make him a great guy.

    Q: Why are the 49ers called the 49ers?

    A: 'Cause they can't make it past the 50-yard line.

    My husband told me to make him a sandwich. I was looking online for some comebacks. Someone online said, "You better come back with a goddamn sandwich!"

    I've just started a new business making people breathe in large amounts of helium. They all speak very highly of it.

    You can make fun of adopted kids all you want. What are they going to do, tell their parents on you? Lol.

    My cat sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365. Her meals are provided at no cost to her. She visits the doctor once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this she pays nothing, and nothing is required of her.

    She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep. If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free. She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.

    I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, Holy Sh*t, my cat is a Democrat!

  • 2

    • So what is the difference between a real doctor and a doctor of philosophy?

    One cures the sick and the other makes them sick!