Make

Make jokes

I was trying to make a joke about fighting, but I couldn't come up with a good punchline.

If I make a summer camp for kids with concentration problems, will it be a "Concentration Camp"?

A brunette, a red-head, and a blonde are being chased by bandits. They are chased to the edge of a cliff and a genie appears.

"I will help you escape," says the genie, "say what you wish to turn into, and you will become that thing."

The brunette jumps off the cliff and says "Hawk." She turns into a hawk and flies away. The red-head says "Falcon." She turns into a falcon and flies away. Now the blonde is alone and the bandits are getting closer. She makes her decision and backs up, then runs toward the cliff. And...she trips and says "Crap."

The End

Hey, you wanna hear something funny?

An atom makes up everything. Half of this site contains this joke. Don't trust the internet, kids.

Three people died and went to Hell. One of them is from America, the second guy is from Germany, and the third guy is from Afghanistan. The devil lets each person make a phone call to their loved ones in the country they came from, but they will be charged. The American spends 10 minutes on the phone and is charged $20. The German spends 12 minutes on the phone and is charged $24. The man from Afghanistan spends half an hour on the phone and is charged nothing. The other two guys asked the devil why. The devil responded: "Local calls are free."

Why did Stephen Hawking make it to heaven?

He couldn't make it up the stairs.

When God created women, it was an accident. He meant to make a man, but then "WHOA-MAN!!"

Sixty years ago, Stephen Hawking's teacher got fired for accidentally making an offensive joke. What was it? Go for your dreams, kids. Reach for the stars.

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  • What is red, white, and blue and makes me proud to live in this country?

    The baby in the corner I choked, stabbed, and then came on.

    Two men are in a rainforest, and one of them is peeing. Suddenly, a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the man’s penis. The other man says, “Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!” He didn’t have enough time to load the man into the car, so he went straight to the hospital. The man told the doctor what happened, and the doctor said, “You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out.” The man went back to the other man and said, “There is no hope, you will die.”

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  • Three boy chihuahua were hot about this girl chihuahua. She tells them, "I will date whichever one of you can use liver and cheese in the same sentence."

    First dog says, "I love cheese, but liver is bland."

    She replies, "Really original."

    Next dog, "I love liver, but cheese makes me constipated."

    She replies, "Ew, gross."

    Third dog steps up, "Man, liver alone cheese mine."

    Winner dog 3.

    It doesn’t make much sense why autistic kids run down the hall screaming racecar noises.

    I mean, they aren’t in wheelchairs, so I don’t know why they do it.

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  • I'm making a new movie, it's called "Veggie Tales." My star actor is Stephen Hawking.

    What did one pillow say to the other?

    Nothing, meh, they just sang a song about a rogue chicken whose feathers had been sacrificed to make them.