Madness jokes

A couple has sex in the dark every single night.

One night, the wife gets curious about what goes on, so they start f...ing, and she flicks the light on. When she flicks the light on, she catches him with a dildo playing with her pussy. She's so mad that she started ranting and raving. The husband says, "Honey, I know you're mad, and I'll explain the toy. Just do me one favor: explain the children."

I don't got a pencil or pen in this bookbag. Added like ten to the clip 'cause it look bad. Don't give a fuck if you pissed, nigga, get mad. Or you can bitch and get killed with your bitch ass. Lil' bro got blood on his shirt with his Crip ass. Go write a diss and get murked, don't do shit ass. Bitch, I'm a star, I might burst with my stiff ass. Hop out the car like, "Who want it? Who with that?" I don't know nothin', I was gone when they did that. Bandana wrapped where my chrome and my wig at. If he want beef, hit his home with a Big Mac. Niggas be breakin' the code like a Kit-Kat. Runnin' your mouth like a ho get you bitch-slapped.

Why is the Pentagon mad?

Because it didn't get two pizzas, but only one plane pizza.

Why were Twin Towers mad that their food wasn’t good enough?

Because they got plain.

We should stop the orphan jokes. The parents will get mad.

Yo mama is SO FAT... SO FUCKING FAT... That when she went on the bus, she wasn't allowed in. She asked why, and the driver pointed to the sign "Weight capacity of 50 people". The bus was empty.

She got mad and ate the bus!

My girl got mad at me last night for saying to my mom that she had a dildo ready at all times and is always hard, so my mom wanted to see. So I whipped out my penis and my mom said it’s bigger than your dad’s!

We can nip March Madness in the bud, but only if we detect the warning signs of brooding, anti-social February Fever.

My friend wasn't laughing at my jokes, so I said, "Is your funny bone broken?" But he got mad, and then I said, "Do you have a bone to pick with me?" He tried to insult me, but I said, "Call me what you want, I got thick skin," and this story was down to the bone.

About a month ago, I was at my best friend’s funeral and I told him, "Bitches always come and go." He looked at me kinda mad, kinda confused, and said, "That’s my mom, dude."

Why was the rapper always on time?

Because they had mad flow!

Why were the victims of 9/11 so mad?

Because they ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was a plane.

If you are a big fan of me, go to the movie and I kill the bad guys. If you don't, I will be mad and I will be sonic.exe lol.

Why was the pregnant cow mad all the time? It wasn’t in for the moo-d.

What do the initials "MAD" stand for?

Mothers Against Democrats.

I hate "the woke" so much, I got mad when my mom said I "woke" up late for school.

My boss found my permanent record at the orphanage, and he’s mad. I got fired...

What did Helen Keller's mother do to her when she was mad at her?

She left the plunger in the toilet, she put doorknobs on all the walls, and she rearranged the furniture.

Why is Broly always mad?

Answer: His bros dead.

To Drew the Devil,

We NEED to talk RN. I'm very mad at you, and we need to talk.

Angry Alex