Love jokes

My cousin really loves baseball.

He always brags about how many home runs he hit in the minors.

What do Americans and stars have in common?

They both love shooting up.

I always loved going to Bill Cosby's house; he always greeted me when I woke up with "Rapey-rapey, eggs and bakey."

Daughter: Dad, why did Mom do best?

Dad: Nothing, except pretend to love us and leave.

Daughter: So she only loves my sister?

Dad: Yep.

I love animals!

What is a boyfriend?

"I love you 😘" was the night you got a iiooooo.

I love games.

I love not much.

I love you, you love me.

What do you call a rapper who loves gardening?

Dr. Dre-seed.

My chance of finding love.

I think democracy is a scam. I love men and I love you. I love men and I love you. I love my dog. He won't sleep inside and I shitted my pants. I peed my pants. I smell bad. I took a shower and my dog was like, "Oh my god." I was like, "Oh." I was like, "Oh my god," and then I was like, "I shitted again" and he was like, "Bark bark," cause he's a dog. Thanks for listening.

My girlfriend is so fat that when she runs or walks, she falls, so I am breaking up with you.

🙍🏼‍♀️Fat girlfriend: Nooo, don’t leave me, catch me, ahhh!

🙇🏼‍♀️Fat girlfriend falls on boyfriend: Ahhhhhh *dump*

🙇🏼‍♀️🙇🏼Fat girlfriend and boyfriend: Fat girlfriend: U didn’t catch me wawawawa. Boyfriend: Get off me, 900 pounds, ugh, I hate u!

Story done. Please like.

Why did the kid named Jeff become gay? Because he grew up without a father figure. Hahaha, I love dark humor!

Jack and Jill went up the hill. They turned to drunks and have no will. Jill said to Jack, "Your love reveal, then think of building me a still."

My mom loved taking pics of me when I was a child. Thanks to that, people really believe my fake smiles! :3

Are you a lightbulb, cuz you brighten up my day?

A man is dating three women and has to choose which one he'll marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what she does with the money.

The first woman does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits to look sexy for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.

The second woman goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.

The third woman invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money... Then he married the one with the biggest breasts.

Your family.