Love jokes

I love taking my daughter out in the car. Every time we go over a speed bump, I tell her we ran over another dog. 😂

Boy: Hey! I love you...

Girl: Eww, you are so ugly.

*boy sent a pic of his dic*

Girl: Beauty doesn't matter in love.

They told me I'd never be good at poetry.

But to date I have made 3 jugs and a vase, and they look lovely!

Blood is red.

Bruises are blue. I forget the rest... um, I hate you...?

While I was out shopping, I tripped in a store and a lady would not stop staring at me. For fun, I said, "Sorry! It's been a while since I've possessed a body." She looked horrified.

Dads are like boomerangs... I hope!

Son: Dad, why is my name Experience? Dad: Son, Experience is the name we give our mistakes.

You won't eat a human, so why eat meat? Bold of you to presume I won't eat a person.

Roses are red, your penis is blue, the bed sheet has turned a different color, too.

🤔 What does BLM stand for? Blacks Love Masturbation 💘 💘 💘 💘 ☺ 😀 👍 👍

Kid: Why do orphans like tennis?

Dad: Because it's the only time they get "love."

My love life.

What is hard about having a relationship with an astronaut?

They are always so distant! :-]

I kept asking these kids where their parents are, and they started crying. I walked away laughing, thinking I love my job at an orphanage.

I love telling jokes about orphans.

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

I love gay people. UwU

They say the surest way to a man’s heart is through the stomach. But, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.

Are you Jeffrey Dahmer? Because I'd love you to eat me.

Why do a pedophile love Halloween?

Free delivery.

There's a new Michael Jackson biopic in the works. There is a possibility that we will know who his love interest was.

What we know so far: Billie Jean is not his lover, and that kid [seen with him] is not his son. We also know that Michael Jackson said that sharing his bed with little boys is "healing" and an act of "sharing the love," so take that as you will.

Why do women love Chinese food? Because WON TON spelled backward is NOT NOW!

Why do women wear panties with flowers on them?

In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.

Dating 101:

Here's what you do:

1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.