Love jokes

Are you Jeffrey Dahmer? Because I'd love you to eat me.

I love telling jokes about orphans.

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

I kept asking these kids where their parents are, and they started crying. I walked away laughing, thinking I love my job at an orphanage.

My love life.

What is hard about having a relationship with an astronaut?

They are always so distant! :-]

There's a new Michael Jackson biopic in the works. There is a possibility that we will know who his love interest was.

What we know so far: Billie Jean is not his lover, and that kid [seen with him] is not his son. We also know that Michael Jackson said that sharing his bed with little boys is "healing" and an act of "sharing the love," so take that as you will.

Boy: Hey! I love you...

Girl: Eww, you are so ugly.

*boy sent a pic of his dic*

Girl: Beauty doesn't matter in love.

A male unexploded landmine was in love with a female unexploded landmine, and he said to her...

"Hey, baby, we should bang sometime!"

Why can’t orphans be married?

Because they won’t have their parents' blessings.

Girl: I’m so in love with you!

Boy: Me too. I think you’re abcdefghijk: aesthetic, beautiful, cool, determined, elegant, famous, hot.

Girl: What’s the ijk?

Boy: I’m just kidding.

Marry or don't marry, you will regret both!

Genie: You cannot wish for more wishes, immortality, or love.

Man: I wish not to die a virgin.

Genie: I just said no wishing for immortality!

Why does your grandma like gardening so much?

Because she loves getting dirty down on her knees.

A piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.

"Oh, Bunsen, my flame," the sodium swooned. "I melt whenever I see you!"

The Bunsen burner replied, "Calm down. It's just a phase you're going through."

My girlfriend really wants me to get her pregnant so she would have a father figure in her life for once.

What song do supportive parents of a closeted child love?

“The Son Will Come Out Tomorrow.”

Why is an orphan bad at tennis?

'Cause he couldn't get any love.

My dad died in 9/11. At least he did what he loves best: flying planes.

What is cold and alone?

An orphan's parent.

A guy and his girl just finished making love.

Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"

The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"