I was watching The Perfect Murder with my boyfriend. It was a good movie, but the weird thing was that my boyfriend was taking notes throughout the whole movie.
Me: Breathe right now if you wanna date me.
Why does Michael Joseph Jackson love Boise?
Because of all the boys he'll see.
Asians love it when a British person says "Rice!"
He sang a love song to a rat, yet stans are befuddled on why people keep calling their idol "Wacko Jacko".
People should build orphanages next to graveyards so at least orphans can see their parents.
I love climbing over walls because my ancestry was Mexican.
Are you a gun, because I would be your bullets because I love going in children.
Are you a white van? Because I would love to put children in you.
The unicorn was so much better, and I love it!
What does an orphan wish they could do?
Wish happy Mother's Day and Father's Day.
Roses are red, violets are blue, she's only red bc she sucked you.
How to make an orphan BLEED?
Step 1 - Tell them to clap until they actually have a loving family.
Step 2 - LAUGH EVILLY as they BLEED.
Step 3 - Tell them to kys.
Step 4 - Leave that mental asylum.
People love you.
Don't die.
Okay, so I know this is not a joke, but I wanted to take some time to say if you have autism, you are still amazing. You are lovely in every way, and if people bully you, don't listen because they are wrong. You are cute, and I know how it feels. I have ADHD, and I get bullied a lot, but I don't let that get to me because I know what they are saying is wrong and not true. People with autism, stay strong; you got this. I will be your friend by heart, even if it's not in person.
Stacy: Honey, I'm kinda new to texting, what does lol mean?
Justin: I'm not sure, "lots of love," I guess.
Margaret: Stacy, are you there? I don't know if you heard, but Amber and her three kids were killed in a car crash this morning. I'm in total shock!
Stacy: lol
School Rizz:
You are my exam. I am always thinking about you but never making a move.
Man, I don’t need Viagra when I see Mara!
Had an amazing night with this girl, woke up, and it was my aunt. Now I’m in love.
When my son was little, he loved to draw. Although he would always rip up the paper whenever there was one little slip up. Too bad he became a tattoo artist.....
