why do orphans always become criminals? because they want to feel wanted
Genie: You cannot wish for more wishes, immortality, or love.
Man: I wish not to die a virgin.
Genie: I just said no wishing for immortality!
I love teaching students
how to make them harm themselves.
A woman is lying in bed after making love to her lover. After a moment, she starts to roll over, and in the process, she realizes that the spent condom is still inside her.
Worried, she wakes up her lover. She asks, “What should we do about this?” To which he replies: “Who was it?”
Why can’t orphans be married
Because they won’t have their parents blessings
I decided to take my mother-in-law out the other day. I love being a hitman.
Roses are red, balls are round, skirts are up, panties are down, belly to belly, skin to skin, when it's stiff, stick it in.
My nan must really love the quiet game, she's been playing it for ages.
Why do orphans love getting r@ped? Because they want to know what love feels like
Friend: Why do you like Minecraft so much?
Me: Because I love miners!
I love Fortnite because I touched grass for the first time and also I love Chung Lei.
There was a girl called Millie, and she had sexy blond hair, and she wanted to chase me, but I told her she had to catch me first if she loves me.
Roses are red,
romance is dead,
every day I suffer from existential dread.
A male unexploded landmine was in love with a female unexploded landmine, and he said to her...
"Hey, baby, we should bang sometime!"
Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered, "Y?"
My boss said she would've loved to meet Bill Cosby as a child. I don't get why I'm getting arrested. I was just making sure his dream came true.
Me: “You guys wanna know a cool fact?”
Friend 1: “Yeah.”
Friend 2: “Yea.”
Me: “Japan is RIGHT that way. If we swim all night...we’ll be able to get to Japan.”
Friend 3: “I love anime.”
Friend 1 & 2: “Nononononononononono!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Me: *Laughs at Friend 3*
Kid 1: I like you! Do you like me?
Kid 2: No. You never asked if I love you!
Kid 1: Aw, do you love me?
Kid 2: No!
Girlfriend: "Would you still love me if I was a figment of your imagination?"
My schizophrenic ass: Of course I would.
Why do women love wind chimes?
They vibrate.
