Lot jokes

Did you hear about the volcano that was accepted into Cambridge?

It was a decision on the number of degrees it holds, which is a lot, because volcanoes have lava if they're active. And ours was.

Did you know that a lot of graves are put in churchyards?

Yeah, they're pretty holey.

Mozart doesn't care if Bach is better than him; at least he puts a lot of emotion [into his music and] he makes people happy.

My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack.

I always hit on 16, then get busted.

So, I know that there are a lot of egg yolks on this website, and I guess I got beat to it, but I'm eggcited to say eggsactly what the eggs say.

I know I'm bad at this, but I hope you will crack up anyway.

Tibia honest, it takes a lot of spine to memorize all the bones in the skeletal system. I mean, there's a skele-ton of em! You gotta be boned up for the skeletal system exam, buddy chum pal. Now that was a humerus ribtickling skelepun. Besides, if ya don't know all of the bones in the skeletal system, get boned, fucking numbskull. Did those tickle your funny bone? Now I've been working down to the bone typing these puns, kid. Now if you hate all these, I won't be bothered, I got thick skin! But first, lemme take a skelfie in the skelevator playing my trom-bone. Now, I gotta go to Grillby's. They got a discount on spare-ribs. Bone-voyage, my homeslice breadslice dawg.

I was remembering the time when I lost my brother, only until I heard that hide and seek wasn't the best idea, especially in a secluded parking lot in downtown.

I got a lot running through my head right now. I wish at least one was a 12-gauge round.

Did you hear about the flood at the circus? Lots of people drowned, and there were two clowns that survived and two nuns still in the audience.

The two clowns ran over to the two nuns, and each one put a nun on his shoulder. Then they waded out of the big top, up to their waists in the rapid, turbulent water. As they were reaching dry land, one clown said to the other, "If you ask me, this is virgin on the ridiculous!"

Why does the sun get a lot of girls? Because it's hot.

Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me.

It means a lot!

What would you find on a haunted beach?

A sand-witch!

"Hey guys, I'm a new jokester, remember my name as I'll be making a lot more!!! P.S. They will be much better than this one!"

My first high-school football game was a lot like my first time having sex...

I was bloody and sore at the end, but at least my dad came.

Why do midgets need a lot of books at school?

So they can reach the top of the desk.

Friends are very important. I have lots of friends in very high places. I hope the police can talk them down!

I know a lot of jokes, but I could learn a femor.

If you were a food, what would you be?

Friend 1: "Pizza, cause I'm so cheesy."

Friend 2: "Chocolate chip cookie, cause I have lots of friends."

Me: "Donut, cause I'm so empty inside."

Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me. It means a lot.

This is a lot like anal sex.

You always miss 100% of the shots if you don't take it.

FEMA during a natural disaster is kinda like me during sex. Slow to respond and not a lot of satisfying results.