I got a lot running through my head right now. I wish at least one was a 12-gauge round.
Lot Jokes
Did you hear about the flood at the circus? Lots of people drowned, and there were two clowns that survived and two nuns still in the audience.
The two clowns ran over to the two nuns, and each one put a nun on his shoulder. Then they waded out of the big top, up to their waists in the rapid, turbulent water. As they were reaching dry land, one clown said to the other, "If you ask me, this is virgin on the ridiculous!"
Why does the sun get a lot of girls? Because it's hot.
Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me.
It means a lot!
What would you find on a haunted beach?
A sand-witch!
"Hey guys, I'm a new jokester, remember my name as I'll be making a lot more!!! P.S. They will be much better than this one!"
My first high-school football game was a lot like my first time having sex...
I was bloody and sore at the end, but at least my dad came.
Why do midgets need a lot of books at school?
So they can reach the top of the desk.
Friends are very important. I have lots of friends in very high places. I hope the police can talk them down!
I know a lot of jokes, but I could learn a femor.
If you were a food, what would you be?
Friend 1: "Pizza, cause I'm so cheesy."
Friend 2: "Chocolate chip cookie, cause I have lots of friends."
Me: "Donut, cause I'm so empty inside."
Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me. It means a lot.
This is a lot like anal sex.
You always miss 100% of the shots if you don't take it.
FEMA during a natural disaster is kinda like me during sex. Slow to respond and not a lot of satisfying results.
Knowing how to pick locks has really opened a lot of doors for me.
My friend had this annoying little kid that always used to yell and scream when he didn't get what he wanted. I told my friend there's a new attraction a few states away he could take him to.
Confused, my friend asked me what it was. I told him, "The Sandy Hook Experience: Where you come in and leave with a 'hole' lot of fun."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you a lot!
I have a lot of eggcellent egg puns, get the yolk... Oh come on, don't be hard-boiled!
So, my friend's birthday is in a couple of days, and I was wondering what to get him.
He hangs out at my house a lot, so I suggested adoption papers.
Women are like rolls of toilet paper. They are either really cheap or expensive, you use them a lot, and they deal with a lot of sh*t.
Three guys walk into a room where a man is sitting with an assortment of foods on his plate because it's lunchtime. The guys ask the man to do a favor, and he says, "Sorry guys, I have a lot on my plate!"
