Loss

Loss jokes

Kid

What do you call a kid with no friends?

A Sandy Hook survivor.

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  • Orphan

    What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

    Q: An apple gets picked.

    Orphan

    Teacher: "I was an orphan when I was a kid."

    Students: "oof"

    Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"

    Students: "Yeah, your parents."

    Tour Guide

    As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.

    Dark Humor

    Kid: "Dark humor is like a mother's love."

    Orphan: "How?"

    Kid: "You wouldn't know."

    Orphan: "........."

    9/11

    Can we stop talking about 9/11? My dad died, man, but he was a good pilot.

    Orphan

    Knock knock. Who's there? Parents. Parents who? That's what an orphan would say.

    Orphan

    An orphan's favorite toy is a boomerang. It comes back to them, unlike their parents.

    Girlfriend

    My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset. She screamed at me and said, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"

    Sex

    Q: What's the hardest thing about losing your virginity?

    A: Making sure she doesn't wake up.

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  • Orphan

    Do you know how to make an orphan's hands bleed?

    Tell them to clap until their parents come home.

    School shooting

    I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I don’t understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, "what’s so sad?" and she said, "What do you think was running through these kid’s head before they died?" I replied, "probably a bullet." She gasped and said, "do you have any idea how insensitive that is? What do you think is running through their parent’s heads?" I said "probably all the money they're losing from this funeral."