Loss jokes
I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I don’t understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, "what’s so sad?" and she said, "What do you think was running through these kid’s head before they died?" I replied, "probably a bullet." She gasped and said, "do you have any idea how insensitive that is? What do you think is running through their parent’s heads?" I said "probably all the money they're losing from this funeral."
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't ever find home.
"I hate when people make 9/11 jokes because my grandfather died during the Twin Tower attacks. He was the best pilot in Saudi Arabia."
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap until their parents come home.
What did the orphan say to his parents? Nothing, cause they left him.
What can you never tell an orphan?
Go home to your parents.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimer's has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.
What is an orphan's favorite show?
Batman.
Me: Hey, are your parents home?
Orphan: (crying) Stop calling here!
What is an orphan's least favorite movie?
Spider-Man, because it told them there was no way home.
What do an orphan's father and Nemo have in common?
They are both nowhere to be found.
Why can't orphans never run all the bases in baseball? Because they can never make it home.
Where does the orphan go when he's done with school? To the cemetery.
What's an orphan's favorite movie? Spiderman: No Way Home.
I would tell you an orphan joke, ehh I’ll just tell your parents instead.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't hit a home run.
Welcome to Morgan's Morgue and Pizzeria where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!
What do orphans, parents, and trees have in common? They leafed.
That poor kid, he was fine until I bought him a mother's day card for his mum. The second he saw it, he burst out crying...
My girlfriend died in Tokyo during a tsunami. I was sad, but my friend told me, "Don't worry, there are plenty more in the ocean."