Knock, knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimer's has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.
What is an orphan's favorite show?
Batman.
What is an orphan's least favorite movie?
Spider-Man, because it told them there was no way home.
Why can't orphans never run all the bases in baseball? Because they can never make it home.
Me: Hey, are your parents home?
Orphan: (crying) Stop calling here!
What do orphans, parents, and trees have in common? They leafed.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't hit a home run.
What's an orphan's favorite movie? Spiderman: No Way Home.
Welcome to Morgan's Morgue and Pizzeria where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!
Where does the orphan go when he's done with school? To the cemetery.
What is an orphan's family tree?
A stump.
I would tell you an orphan joke, ehh I’ll just tell your parents instead.
That poor kid, he was fine until I bought him a mother's day card for his mum. The second he saw it, he burst out crying...
Why are orphans bad at poker?
Because they don't know what a full house is!
Guys, this is so wrong. I'm an orphan and this extremely offends me. I'm telling my parents, um.......
Why was the orphan single? Because it could not call someone "daddy".
Why does a girl orphan want a boyfriend?
To finally call someone Daddy!
What can you never tell an orphan?
Go home to your parents.
My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset. She screamed at me and said, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"
Once there were twins, Mark and Michael. Mark was the owner of an old boat. It so happened that Michael's wife died the same day that Mark's boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Mark and mistook him for Michael. She said, "I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible." Mark, thinking that she was talking about his boat, said, "Heck no. In fact, I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing right from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her water; she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle!" The old lady fainted.
