Loss jokes
My girlfriend died in Tokyo during a tsunami. I was sad, but my friend told me, "Don't worry, there are plenty more in the ocean."
"Having too much sex can result in memory loss."
I read that on page 37, paragraph five of the New England Medical Journal on September 15th, 2014, at 10:37 AM.
Why can't the orphan take a family photo?
Answer: The orphan has no family to take a picture with.
What does a woman and a hurricane have in common?
They’re nice and wet at first, but in the end they take everything.
I was playing hide-n-seek with my dad and he hid, but I could never find him till this day.
If a baby dies in the womb, is it considered suicide?
I got LEGOs for Christmas, and my friend got her father's headstone.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
What does an orphan and a military man not have in common? Neither gets to go back home.
Why do orphans always have the newest iPhone?
Because it doesn’t have a home button.
What's the difference between me and my mate...
I left my dad, while hers left with their friend Cancer.
What'd the farmer say when a coyote killed and ate his rooster?
"No, you ate my cock!"
Kid: What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?
Teacher: What?
Kid: Fruity Pebbles with water.
Teacher: Why water?
Kid: 'Cause his dad never came back with the milk.
Tons of people committed suicide on 9/11 by destroying government property.
Not to mention and by plane.
Me: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, how did you know and what gave me away?
Me: Where's your parents?
Orphan: They died and I have a phone, why?
Me: Because it has a home button.
What's the last thing to go through the minds of 9/11 victims?
Their kneecaps.
Has anyone else ever been jealous when their laptop dies?
What song do you play at an emo kid's funeral?
Van Halen's "Jump."
Why are orphans so bad at poker?
They don’t know what a full house looks like.
Why can't orphans have cookies?
They are home made.