Loss jokes
Why can’t the USA play chess?
Because they lost their two towers.
Why does a kid never come home after a fight with their parents? Because they never found the key to the house again.
My girlfriend died in Tokyo during a tsunami. I was sad, but my friend told me, "Don't worry, there are plenty more in the ocean."
"Having too much sex can result in memory loss."
I read that on page 37, paragraph five of the New England Medical Journal on September 15th, 2014, at 10:37 AM.
Why can't the orphan take a family photo?
Answer: The orphan has no family to take a picture with.
What does a woman and a hurricane have in common?
They’re nice and wet at first, but in the end they take everything.
I was playing hide-n-seek with my dad and he hid, but I could never find him till this day.
If a baby dies in the womb, is it considered suicide?
I got LEGOs for Christmas, and my friend got her father's headstone.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
What does an orphan and a military man not have in common? Neither gets to go back home.
Why do orphans always have the newest iPhone?
Because it doesn’t have a home button.
What's the difference between me and my mate...
I left my dad, while hers left with their friend Cancer.
What'd the farmer say when a coyote killed and ate his rooster?
"No, you ate my cock!"
Kid: What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?
Teacher: What?
Kid: Fruity Pebbles with water.
Teacher: Why water?
Kid: 'Cause his dad never came back with the milk.
Tons of people committed suicide on 9/11 by destroying government property.
Not to mention and by plane.
Me: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, how did you know and what gave me away?
Me: Where's your parents?
Orphan: They died and I have a phone, why?
Me: Because it has a home button.
What's the last thing to go through the minds of 9/11 victims?
Their kneecaps.
Has anyone else ever been jealous when their laptop dies?
What song do you play at an emo kid's funeral?
Van Halen's "Jump."