Little jokes

I was walking home when I saw children crossing the street on their own. I went towards him and tapped his shoulder and said, "Hey, little kid, you are not supposed to be walking on your own." The kid turns out to be a dwarf.

Little Johnny was living with his grandpa during the summer. Well, grandpa had a beer, and Johnny said, "Grandpa, let me get a sip of that." Grandpa said, "Well, lil Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And lil Johnny said, "Well no sir." And grandpa said, then no, you can't.

Later that day, papaw (grandpa) had a cigar, and Johnny said let me get a hit of that, and papaw asked, "Well, Johnny, does your d**k reach your a**?" And Johnny said no again. Then papaw was shooting his gun, and Johnny asked if he could shoot it, and grandpa asked Johnny if his d**k reached his a**, and Johnny said no.

Well, after supper, Johnny's grandma made Johnny some ice cream (the most amazing bowl of ice cream EVER), and grandpa said, "Johnny, let me get a bit of that ice cream," and Johnny asked papaw, "Well, papaw, does your d**k reach your a**?" And papaw said, "Well, Johnny, as a matter of a fact, it does," and Johnny said, "Good, now go f**k yourself because you ain't getting none of my ice cream!"

Q: Why did Little Johnny drop his ice cream?

A: Because he got hit by a bus.

I'm gonna eat a hell of a lot of popcorn kernels before I die just to make the cremation a little more interesting.

Little boy: Momma?

Mom: Yes, my dear.

Little boy: One day I wanna work in McDonald's.

Mom: Why!?

Little boy: Just to see if their ice cream machine is actually broken.

What's white and annoying at breakfast? An avalanche.

Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She got hit by an axe.

Why did little Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

Little Johnny was alone because Dad didn’t come back.

I saw a little boy sitting on a curb wearing rags.

I said: "Aww, are you an orphan?"

And he responded with "Yeah. What gave me away?"

And I said: "Your parents."

Yo mama's so ugly, when she was little, she had to trick-or-treat by phone.

"Proud Boys," more like insecure little bitches!

Little Jonny fucked his mum.

I saw a little girl crying, and I said, "Where are your parents?" That day, I got fired from the orphanage. 🤪

Why can't a little girl fly? She doesn't have the proper motivation.

Why'd Biden get fired from the supermarket?

He kept telling little kids they smell like freshly baked bread.

Why did Little Johnny drop his ice cream?

Because he got hit by a bus.

I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.

I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"

She said, "She was a little tardy."

I asked her, "I thought they all were."

Are you made of gold, titanium, sulfur, titanium, and carbon?

Cuz you’re looking a little big Au Ti S Ti C.

"I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older, and she laughed so hard she cried a little."

Q: What did the little girl say to her leper daddy?

A: "Oops, I got your nose!"

My jacket tore a little bit. It's a ripper.