Little jokes
You can’t say “dwarf” anymore; you have to say “little people”.
You can’t say “fat”; you have to say “plus size”.
You can’t say “retard”; you have to say “democrat”.
What Disney movie does the church make little girls watch?
Snow White and the Seven Deadly Sins.
"I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older, and she laughed so hard she cried a little."
Why'd Biden get fired from the supermarket?
He kept telling little kids they smell like freshly baked bread.
Why did Little Johnny drop his ice cream?
Because he got hit by a bus.
I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.
I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"
She said, "She was a little tardy."
I asked her, "I thought they all were."
The emo girl in my class did her photosynthesis project on a tree. Little did she know that would be her demise later on.
My jacket tore a little bit. It's a ripper.
Why can't a little girl fly? She doesn't have the proper motivation.
I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said, "What happened to all the parents?" She sounded so confused, so I told her, "It's only yours, kid, they left you on purpose." She cried. I felt bad for a second and thought, oh well, time to get back to my job at the orphanage.
Daughter: So, I got my period.
Mom: That's wonderful, dear! Now you can bleed for a whole week a month without dying!
Daughter: That's nice, Mum, but isn't the whole point of getting your period dying?
Mom: Yes, but you have to kill yourself a little longer to live through to another day.
Daughter: Thanks, Mum. That makes a whole lot of sense. (Sarcastically.)
Mom: You're welcome, honey. (Clueless, obviously.)
Who crashed the plane?
1. Abu Faram? - terrorist
2. The little kid Joseph?
3. The passed out pilot?
Or Jamal?
It would be pretty funny if something that's not a joke was the most liked thing. It would be pretty funny, I think, lol. Just a little funny, lol.
Little Johnny was learning about anal sex, when he learned what it was he said, "My uncle just calls this shhhhh..."
Mia’s mother has 5 kids: Lilly, Abby, Alexa, Mila, and.... Q: Who is last? A: Mia.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Little old lady, you don’t need to yodel about it!
I hate it when couples get into a little fight and they change their Facebook status to "single." I have fights with my parents, but I don't change my Facebook status to "orphan."
Why did Little Sally get hurt while playing soccer?
Because she fell into a minefield.
Little Johnny goes to his mum and asks, "Mummy, what's rape?"
Little Johnny's mum answers, "The way you got here."
A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Puerto Rican!"
Then the blonde replies, "OMG, you dirty little slut! How many is a Puerto Rican?"
Teacher: Tell me a moral story.
Little Johnny: Once my grandfather was in WW2. He saw everyone praising to kill him. For example, we should sneak up and kill him. We get the helicopter above and shoot him from there. My grandfather heard this, he got his gun and shot them all.
Teacher: What is the moral even?
Little Johnny: Never plan to kill my grandfather.