Line jokes
Why can’t anyone sing “hit me with your best shot” at the veterans ball karaoke?
Because every time she sang the line “fire away,” someone started shooting!
Someone asked me what the lines on my wrist were from. I answered, "My cat has OCD."
Why was the emo kicked out of the Carnival? Because he was cutting in line.
What’s a nut’s favorite Shakespeare line?
“To be or nut to be.”
Are you a school? Because I want to shoot a bunch of kids in you.
Are you an orphanage?
Why?
Because I wanna put my kids in you.
Why is "T" well-respected, but more in its lowercase form?
It crossed the line with Jesus.
What does a school bus crash and a train crash have in common?
They always line up.
Are you Jesus? Because I want to nail you.
What's long and black?
The line at Popeyes.
Are you suicide? Because you are always on my mind.
Your forehead is like a line, it just keeps going.
I wouldn't call a Suicide Help-line even if my life depended on it.
What’s black and long?
The Chick-fil-A line.
Are you a Pikachu?
Because you are SHOCKINGLY beautiful!
Pokemon
You must be a Charmander. Because you’re making me hot.
Pokemon.
A bus full of nuns die in a car crash and end up at the pearly gates where Saint Peter greets them, "Hello sisters, welcome to heaven. Before you enter, I must ask you all a question." He asks the first nun, "Have you ever touched a penis?" Well, she said, "Just once, with the tip of my little finger." "Ok, dip it in the holy water and you can enter." He repeats the question to the second nun. Well, she says, "I might of held one once." "Ok," says St. Peter, "wash your hands in the holy water and you can enter." Just then, there's a commotion down the line. One nun is trying to push in front of another. St. Peter says, "Sister Susan, there is no rush, you will get in." "That's fine," she replies, "but if I have to gargle that stuff, I want to get in before Sister Mary sticks her arse in it."
Why did the emo kid get kicked out of the amusement park?
He kept cutting in line.
Why did the orphan wait in line?
To see their parents next.
What's the difference between a yellow line and a baby?
You can't run over a yellow line.