Line jokes

A guy goes ice fishing for the very first time. All of a sudden, he hears a voice. “There are no fish under the ice!”

He ignores it and moves to another area, cuts a hole, and tosses his line in. Again, he hears the booming voice: “There are no fish under the ice!”

He nervously looks up and asks, “Lord? Is that you?”

“No, this is the rink manager!”

(Pick-up line) If your tits are the Twin Towers... can I be your Osama?

What’s long and black?

The line at the unemployment office.

(This is a fucked up pick up line). Are you a building? Because I rate you 9/11.

Hey guys. I just wanted to say, while I think some rape jokes can be funny, not one of these are. In fact, I find them pretty horrifying.

I was raped when I was fourteen (about six years ago), and I have made one rape joke in my entire life when, last year, I said "I don't fuck with rapists, I just get fucked by them." I thought it was funny. No one else did, and they were probably right in that.

My point is this: rape jokes CAN be funny when they are used by victims as a way of coping with trauma. They CANNOT be funny when they are made about raping someone else. Even if there is a difference between joking about raping someone and raping someone, it is absolutely disgusting to think such a horrific crime is funny, and I am sure at least some of the posters on this page have already crossed the line into committing rape.

Great material for social scientific research, though, gentlemen. Really well done.

So I walk into a bar, and there’s people waiting in line to punch me in the face.

That’s the punch line.

Why are all the emos banned from Six Flags?

Because they keep cutting in line.

Yo what quacking lacking? Looking for a ducking good time? I've got some one lines and knee slappers that ought to fix the bill. What happens flied upside down? It quacks up.

Are you a rope? Because I want to hang sometimes.

I have gathered intelligence regarding the Russian Forces that have been stalled in Ukraine for days. Apparently, they are installing rear view mirrors on their combat vehicles and tanks in order to see the battle at the front lines.

Pickup lines in 2022 are like: "Are you Russia? Because your bombs are so big!"

A project where people get lined up to be changed.

Scratches on an icy road and kills 50 people on the bus, and when they get to Heaven, God feels so bad for them and grants them all one wish.

The first lady in the line was always worried about her looks, so she wished to be beautiful, and the guy behind her couldn’t think of what to wish about, so he also wished to be beautiful. This kept on going, but the guy at the end of the line started to laugh. When he got to God, God says, “What is your one wish, my son?” He said, “I wish you can make them all ugly again.”

Flat Earther pickup line: "The Earth may be flat, but Uranus is round."

I’d tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I only remember the punch line.

What's long and black?

The line to KFC.

A man walks into a bar, and there is a line of people waiting to punch him.

Yeah, that was the punchline.

Charger: Yo, Phone.

Phone: Yeah?

Charger: Can I plug all in you?

Phone: Ayooo!

I went to self-checkout at a store and I scanned my products, but the scanner wouldn't scan the barcode on my arm.

Are you a walnut, because I'm about to nut all over your walls!