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I like my wine like my women:
16 and in my basement.
Please write your comment.
But do not use words like monkey, donkey, loser, etc.
You smell like tap water and cornflakes.
What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?
Philipe Philope.
I'm treated like God when I'm home, I'm usually ignored until someone wants something.
I like my girls how I like my wine, 12 years locked in the basement.
When the emo kid is about to hang himself in the school bathroom, and the autistic kid starts swinging the rope like Indiana Jones!
Teacher, there are 3 birds. 1 gets shot. How many are left?
Student, none. They flew off because the shot scared them off.
Teacher, actually 2, but I like the way you think.
5 minutes later
Student, there are 3 women eating ice cream. 1 is licking it, 1 is drinking it melted, and 1 is sucking it. Which one is married?
Teacher, the one sucking it?
Student, no, the one with the ring, but I like the way you think.
Life is like a penis. It is short.
If I was an object in this world, I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge, I will likely shatter and break.
How do you know your sister is on her period? Your dad's c**k tastes like s**t!
Why don’t eagles 🦅 like fast food?
Because they can’t catch it!
Like this post and comment down below if you want me to announce my real name in my next post!
Why do orphans like milk so much?
Because they got no milk as a baby.
Why do orphans like going to church?
Because they actually get to say "father" for once.
Why do orphans like boomerangs more than their parents? The boomerang comes back.
One day I saw a kid cry, so I go, "Let's go find your parents." I miss my job at the orphanage.
Why do orphans get lost on boats? They can't find the home room.
A sex addict man meets a rich man around Christmas.
The sex addict asks the rich man, "What are you getting your wife this Christmas?" The rich man replies, "Diamond earrings and a Mercedes." The sex addict asks, "Why are you getting her two gifts?" The rich man says, "Well, if she doesn't like the earrings then she can drive to the store and exchange them."
The sex addict nods. Then the rich man asks him, "So what are you getting your wife this year?" The sex addict thinks about it for a second and replies, "A gold necklace and a dildo."
The rich man asks, "Why those two things?" The sex addict astutely responds, "This way, if she doesn't like the jewelry she can go f... herself."
Knock knock. Who's there? Ach. Ach who? Bless you!
I like to eat mom's spaghetti. Now try it with the NEWWWW VEGETTIIII, turn any vegetable into pasta!