Like jokes
Orphan more like “poor”phan because nobody likes him! :)
The cannibal says to the other cannibal, "I like it when humans fall from the sky because then they are meateor."
Alright, riddle me this: I am loud and obnoxious, I like music that rhymes. I'm a fraction of the population, but commit half the crimes! What am I?
A boy walks in on his parents having sex. "What are you doing to my mother?!" the boy screams at his father, and runs out of the room.
Soon, the parents hear screams coming from the father's mother's room. They both go running. They see the little boy pumping into his grandmother like anything. "What are you doing to my mother?!" the father screams. "It's not so easy when it's your mother is it?" says the boy.
You're shorter than a thumbtack, like, boy, your auntie is probably taller than you.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I took a poo, and it smelt like you.
Girls are like roller coasters; the faster you go, the louder they scream.
Why don’t clams like to share? Because they’re very shellfish.
Why doesn't The View have anyone on it who is trans? They just look like they are.
Do you like Mirah?
Mirah-t nuts.
Why does Blake like lakes? Because of cake!
Hey, look, it's that "TRAINS gender" guy. He says, "I like trains." Uh oh!
Why are history teachers always women? Because they like to bring up the past.
Misogyny? More like misogelbow.
My dad’s nickname for me is ‘Tiger’.
Now, my wrists look like a tiger.
If I like having sex and get with 15 people, are they getting sexified?
Little Johnny walks out to the garage and sees Dad smoking a cigarette. He asks, "Hey Dad, can I have a puff of that cigarette?" Dad asks, "Well, Johnny, can your dick reach your ass?" Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment. He then replies, "Well, no, Dad, my dick can't reach my ass." His Dad says, "There's your answer, Johnny..." Little Johnny goes back in the house.
About an hour later, Little Johnny comes back out to the garage and sees his Dad drinking a beer. He asks, "Hey Dad, can I have some of that beer?" Dad asks, "Well, Johnny, can your dick reach your ass?" Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment. He then replies, "Well, no, Dad, my dick can't reach my ass." His Dad says, "There's your answer, Johnny..." Little Johnny goes back in the house.
About an hour later, Little Johnny comes back out to the garage with a big plate of Tollhouse Chocolate Chip cookies, fresh from the oven. His Dad says, "Wow, Johnny, those sure look like some good cookies. You think I can have some?" Little Johnny asks his Dad, "Well Dad, can your dick reach your ass?" His Dad scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment. He then replies, "Well, yes, Johnny, I do believe my dick can reach my ass." Little Johnny says, "Well, Dad, you can go FUCK yourself, cuz Mom made these cookies for me!!!"
It was 7:00 a.m. when Billy ran downstairs after a long night of sleep. He got to the kitchen where his mother and father sat. "What would you like for breakfast?" Billy's mom asked politely. Billy replied with, "Whatever Dad gave you last night in your bedroom would be great! You seemed to like it very much!"
Why did the cowboy put his bunk in the fireplace?
'Cause he wanted to sleep like a log!
What do you call a deaf dog? As you like, he doesn't hear you anyway.