Like jokes

- Sometimes I feel like killing myself...

- But?

- ...

Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.

Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.

Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot...

The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.

I like your cut, G.

*Slaps really hard*

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

Ur hairline is like a Fortnite map at the start of a new season waiting to be identified.

I thought a waitress said to me, "You're good looking." In fact, she was asking if I'd like some pudding.

Little Johnny is with his dad behind a garbage truck when a dildo thumps the windshield.

To protect Little Johnny's innocence, he says, "That was an insect."

Little Johnny replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"

I dare you to smile like a donut. Did you do it?

Being unemployed is like watching our president fall over himself on the stairs.

There’s no hope.

You are like a software update. Whenever I see you, I immediately think, "Not now."

Plastic bags look like you, dirty and fake.

"Nun" means no one likes them. Just take off that dumb hood!

Anybody who doesn't like Pepsi is a Coke-sucker!

A dark sense of humor is like a pair of functioning legs. Not everybody has one.

Life is like a penis. It is short.

Yo hairline so long, it makes you look like Mr. Clean.

Why does the Please Touch Museum sound like "police touch museum?"

Because they gotta watch out for the pedos.

Your momma's so fat that she's used goods, like the Russian tanks.

Why do orphans like to play tennis?

Because that’s the only love they will get.

Food makers are proudly presenting human flesh-made foods. Donate your useless friends and family to us because we're saving lives.

T and C apply. This is only in the best shops in your town, or down the road, or in your country. 1 like = 1 family member donated 'cause we're saving lives😎😎