Like jokes

Yo hairline is built like the Mississippi River.

Why are orphans so bad at baseball?

Most likely because they can't find home.

There was an animal on my porch, then I shot it in the head. It was strange that it had coffee in its hand. I flipped it over, and it was an animal, but it looked a lot like my kid.

Hey, how ya doin'?

Well I'm doin' just fine, I lied, I'm DEAD inside.

Don't tell me "it's gonna be alright," I've tried, but I can't fight like this.

Hey how ya doin', I'm tired but I'm trying to fight.

Go up to your friend and say: "It smells like updog."

They will likely reply: "What's updog?"

To which you reply: "Nothing much, what about you?"

Let's say I was immortal. No matter what I did, I would be alive. But, the catch is I’m the least flexible and least strong person in the world.

Now, I get my head chopped off. What would I do? I would roll over to my headless body and figure out what it's like to suck my own dick.

Comment on this if you are somewhat like me: depressed, single, gay, and act like you're not burning inside.

Yo mama slept with so many guys she's starting to look like one.

Your forehead is so clear, like the Liberty Bell manual in 1876.

Which company likes Jesus the most?

IHS Markit!

Why do cats like to sleep on the floor?

'Cause it's a car-PET.

My dumb ass thinking I made a friend, oh ya, I forgot, literally nobody likes me!

I’m on top of things. Would you like to be one of them?

What day does Venus like?

SATURNday.

Youtubers say like and subscribe!

Both man and woman have balls, but they like to play with the ball of each other because a person always loves what they don't have. 😁

Why is the most popular food at a baseball stadium pancakes? Because everybody likes a good batter!

I like my coffee like I like my women.

Big tits.

I knew this one guy who liked to swim with the fishes, then the mob got a hold of 'em...

I like unicorns.