Like

Like jokes

Plane

    • The sexy towers are just like my sexy toes because when I crashed a plane into the tower, it burned and bled.

  • 1

    • Wife

    • A wife asked her husband, "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?"

    He looked at her from head to toe and replied, "I like your sense of humor!"

  • 1

    • Brownie

    • Joe Biden walks into the White House kitchen.

    "Are those brownies I smell?" he asks.

    "Indeed, they are," he was told.

    "Gee," he says, "they smell nothing like Girl Scouts!"

  • 1
    • Like memes

    JIT

    • @everyone.. what's so funny is that JIT thinks he's so "cool" and that everyone is "amazed" about him hating on people who is wayyy above him on the roster.

    The pathetic part is that he hates on everyone else's family and relationships when 100% of us have a WAYY better one than he will ever deserve. He was born pathetic, and will die pathetic. So JIT, please tell me what it's like to be such a coward?

  • 7

    • Food

    • Every time I come in the kitchen, my girl is in the kitchen in the damn refrigerator eating all the food, like the fried chicken, the mashed potatoes, the collard greens, mac and cheese, and the cornbread.

    Then I said I wanna eat some of that shit. I love soul food. Then I told her, "You keep it up; your fat ass is going to be big like the house on Haunted Hill."

  • 1

    • Baby

    • What does a baby in a blender look like? I don’t know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.

  • 0

    • Arsenic

    • A man walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, "May I have a bottle of arsenic, please?" She is shocked. "Why would you want something like that?" The man calmly tells her, "I want to poison my unfaithful wife and her lover." The pharmacist is now horrified. She said, "I can not possibly give you that. It is completely illegal and I would lose my license and be prosecuted for conspiracy and murder!" At this point the man hands the pharmacist a photo of his unfaithful wife having sex with the pharmacist's husband. She examines it then looks up at him. "Oh. I didn't know you had a prescription."

  • 0

    • Experience

    • Voting for Hillary because of her political experience is like...

    Hiring Hitler as a birthday magician because he made 6,000,000 people disappear.

  • 1

    • Rape

    • So, I was raping this girl the other night, and she said, "Please just think of my kids!" I was like, "What a freak."

  • 2

    • Truth

    • Ah, son of a bitch, I got the truth stuck on my shoe?!?!

    The truth: Breast feeding is like having long sex with your baby. God dammit, I hate the truth!

  • 4

    • Woman

    • Women are like rolls of toilet paper. They are either really cheap or expensive, you use them a lot, and they deal with a lot of sh*t.

  • 0

    • Mom

    • Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin', doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom You know we straight with doin' your mom I like your mama's big butt, and I cannot lie. You other brothers can’t deny that she’s fly. We make sexy time, yes and every night I tap that. She saw me butt-naked, now she thinks I’m half black. But your moms the best, the super M.I.L.F. Cause she loves to toss the salad even though she ain’t a chef And I blame it on the al-al-al-cohol But if I were you, I wouldn’t kiss your mom on the mouth at all. She likes the Donkey-Punch. She likes the Dirty Sanchez. Sometimes she even likes to fool around in your bed. She likes rough sex with handcuffs and I’ll be honest She likes me to Chris Brown her when she acts like Rihanna. She’s so therapeutic. When I need to cure my restlessness I br-br-br-br-br-br-br-br motorboat your moms breastestess. I didn’t wanna tell you, but I had to write this song Cause I’m in your house every night doin' your mo-om.

    Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin', doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom You know we straight with doin' your mom Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin', doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom You know we straight with doin' your mom

    I’m havin' sex with your mother That makes me better than you. I’m havin' sex with your mother That makes me better than you.

    Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin', doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom You know we straight with doin' your mom Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom Doin', doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom You know we straight with doin' your mom

  • 5