Like jokes

What day does Venus like?

SATURNday.

How is an emo kid’s wrist like Pink Floyd?

It’s all shitty until you reach the final cut.

You know how there were like... two towers. I had so much fun playing Jenga in those planes! I WON!!!!!

Parents are like food—not all kids get them.

I like CHEESE!

Hey, how ya doin'?

Well I'm doin' just fine, I lied, I'm DEAD inside.

Don't tell me "it's gonna be alright," I've tried, but I can't fight like this.

Hey how ya doin', I'm tired but I'm trying to fight.

I hate people that hate life.

Me at the same time: Is cutting self at night.

*hides scars* *acts like I'm fine* hehe

Go up to your friend and say: "It smells like updog."

They will likely reply: "What's updog?"

To which you reply: "Nothing much, what about you?"

I hear you like funny people. In fact, my whole life's a joke!

Yo hairline is built like the Mississippi River.

Roses are red, violets are blue, like my hole, Uncle Bill is making me full, better run here he comes!

Youtubers say like and subscribe!

Comment on this if you are somewhat like me: depressed, single, gay, and act like you're not burning inside.

Let's say I was immortal. No matter what I did, I would be alive. But, the catch is I’m the least flexible and least strong person in the world.

Now, I get my head chopped off. What would I do? I would roll over to my headless body and figure out what it's like to suck my own dick.

Why are orphans so bad at baseball?

Most likely because they can't find home.

There was an animal on my porch, then I shot it in the head. It was strange that it had coffee in its hand. I flipped it over, and it was an animal, but it looked a lot like my kid.

Yo mama slept with so many guys she's starting to look like one.

Your forehead is so clear, like the Liberty Bell manual in 1876.

I’m on top of things. Would you like to be one of them?

Which company likes Jesus the most?

IHS Markit!