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Regret

What was OceanGate's biggest regret?

Not painting Dylan Mulvaney on the side of the Titan submarine for when it sunk like Bud Light's profits.

Orphan

Why do orphans like to go to church?

So they have someone to call father.

If you're bored, punch an orphan in the face. What is he gonna do, tell his parents?

Mom

What do my mom and a basketball have in common?

My mom's tits and ass are bouncy, just like a basketball.

Sex

Can we have sex, because if we don't, I can't like you, big, thick booty!

So let's have sex in bed, you sexy woman, or behind a tree, because shoving my dick in your pussy is a very nice feeling while sucking your ass.

Memes

Mob

I knew this one guy who liked to swim with the fishes, then the mob got a hold of 'em...

Ball

Both man and woman have balls, but they like to play with the ball of each other because a person always loves what they don't have. 😁

Disaster

FEMA during a natural disaster is kinda like me during sex. Slow to respond and not a lot of satisfying results.

Batter

Why is the most popular food at a baseball stadium pancakes? Because everybody likes a good batter!

Music

Q: What kind of Christmas music do elves like?

A: “Wrap” music.

Poopoo

Tell someone that you're gonna say “I 1 poopoo” and it will go in order of numbers, so they say, “I 2 poopoo” & so on:

You) I 1 poopoo

(Them) I 2 poopoo

(You) I 3 poopoo

(Them) I 4 poopoo

(You) I 5 poopoo

(Them) I 6 poopoo

(You) I 7 poopoo

(Them) I 8 poopoo

And be like, “You ate poopoo??! EWW!!”

Suicide

People always often say to someone who are thinking about suicide that's the easy way out. Don't give up! All I say is I'm not giving up, just I'm giving in, and does it really seem like it's the easiest way out? I don't think so, it's probably the hardest if you ask me, or I would have done it already, but someone's got to do it.