Like jokes

Don't worry, the forehead jokes were recommended just like your hairline.

I would tell you a time travel joke, but you did not like it.

Once when I was 6, I had a massive crush on a girl in my grade. She liked me too, and we kissed under a tree.

Next day, same spot, but now she's pregnant. That stupid dad stole my girl!

My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest with a rabid wolf.

I am always high, welcome to bipolar disorder. LMAO. (Don't bother to like or comment, I just had to say this.)

I was fuming when I lost my job as a window cleaner, like who built the Twin Towers anyway?

Twinkle, twinkle, there’s a car Coming like a shooting star.

I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.

I like dicks... sporting goods.

Women be like, "Don't say that about her genitals," then makes fun of men's genitals.

Women be like don't tell me what to wear, proceeds to tell men what to wear.

Women be like, "Equal rights, equal pay," then decide that they don't want to do labor intensive jobs.

Women be like men should pay for first dates, then get mad when you do...

How do adults like their cookies like their orphans?

Homemade.

I'm back and wearing dead whites who are killing whites from Eastern Europe on me. Shout out my boy russia and Ukraine, they all are evil just like USA and China and the rest of the west!

Woman gets pulled over by a cop.

Cop: "Ma'am, have you been drinking?"

Lady: "No, officer."

Cop: "What's that in your cup then, ma'am?"

Lady: "Just water, officer."

Cop: "Looks like wine to me."

Lady: "Oh my god, Jesus did it again!"

How is an emo kid’s wrist like Pink Floyd?

It’s all shitty until you reach the final cut.

Why do orphans like to be robbers in cops and robbers?

So they will be wanted.

"Ukraine be like Escape to Witch Mountain!"

You know how there were like... two towers. I had so much fun playing Jenga in those planes! I WON!!!!!

Parents are like food—not all kids get them.