Like jokes

How is an emo kid’s wrist like Pink Floyd?

It’s all shitty until you reach the final cut.

Q: What kind of Christmas music do elves like?

A: “Wrap” music.

I was fuming when I lost my job as a window cleaner, like who built the Twin Towers anyway?

I like my girls like my coffee: Flat and white.

I am always high, welcome to bipolar disorder. LMAO. (Don't bother to like or comment, I just had to say this.)

As an honest Penaldo fan, I have to admit he is a penalty merchant. He can only score against farmer teams like Spezia. He never shows up against great teams like Barcelona.

I've come to realize my hero Penaldo will never be better than Messi. My idol Penaldo is sadly finished.

FEMA during a natural disaster is kinda like me during sex. Slow to respond and not a lot of satisfying results.

I like abusing orphans, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Why did Michael Jackson become white? He wanted to be like a ghost, and I have any feeheet.

God = what I hope to be.

Devil = what I can't accept.

I hope to be like Jesus, a dead martyr. I can't accept that my religion is evil.

Once when I was 6, I had a massive crush on a girl in my grade. She liked me too, and we kissed under a tree.

Next day, same spot, but now she's pregnant. That stupid dad stole my girl!

I would tell you a time travel joke, but you did not like it.

Why was Stephen Hawking always like this 🫠?

Because he didn’t have emojis on his computer.

You know how there were like... two towers. I had so much fun playing Jenga in those planes! I WON!!!!!

Parents are like food—not all kids get them.

Why do orphans like pedos? Because they have someone to call "daddy."

I like CHEESE!

I hate people that hate life.

Me at the same time: Is cutting self at night.

*hides scars* *acts like I'm fine* hehe

I hear you like funny people. In fact, my whole life's a joke!

Roses are red, violets are blue, like my hole, Uncle Bill is making me full, better run here he comes!