Like jokes

Why do orphans like to be robbers in cops and robbers?

So they will be wanted.

I'm back and wearing dead whites who are killing whites from Eastern Europe on me. Shout out my boy russia and Ukraine, they all are evil just like USA and China and the rest of the west!

"Ukraine be like Escape to Witch Mountain!"

Woman gets pulled over by a cop.

Cop: "Ma'am, have you been drinking?"

Lady: "No, officer."

Cop: "What's that in your cup then, ma'am?"

Lady: "Just water, officer."

Cop: "Looks like wine to me."

Lady: "Oh my god, Jesus did it again!"

Lynx Africa is based on a nice smell. Do you think Lynx England would smell like Stella and disappointment?

Orphans are like a trash can; they live outside.

Why does Joe Biden like cold weather? Because he’s used to being in the teens.

How is sex like air?

It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.

Comment on this if you are somewhat like me: depressed, single, gay, and act like you're not burning inside.

I like CHEESE!

Hey, how ya doin'?

Well I'm doin' just fine, I lied, I'm DEAD inside.

Don't tell me "it's gonna be alright," I've tried, but I can't fight like this.

Hey how ya doin', I'm tired but I'm trying to fight.

I hate people that hate life.

Me at the same time: Is cutting self at night.

*hides scars* *acts like I'm fine* hehe

Go up to your friend and say: "It smells like updog."

They will likely reply: "What's updog?"

To which you reply: "Nothing much, what about you?"

I hear you like funny people. In fact, my whole life's a joke!

As an honest Penaldo fan, I have to admit he is a penalty merchant. He can only score against farmer teams like Spezia. He never shows up against great teams like Barcelona.

I've come to realize my hero Penaldo will never be better than Messi. My idol Penaldo is sadly finished.

Let's say I was immortal. No matter what I did, I would be alive. But, the catch is I’m the least flexible and least strong person in the world.

Now, I get my head chopped off. What would I do? I would roll over to my headless body and figure out what it's like to suck my own dick.

Yo mama slept with so many guys she's starting to look like one.

Why are orphans so bad at baseball?

Most likely because they can't find home.

There was an animal on my porch, then I shot it in the head. It was strange that it had coffee in its hand. I flipped it over, and it was an animal, but it looked a lot like my kid.

Your forehead is so clear, like the Liberty Bell manual in 1876.