Like jokes

Little Johnny's mom got a call from school saying to come over. As she does, she is met by the principal. They go into his office and the principal says, "Your son is going to be suspended for a week for blowing clouds in the bathroom." The mother responds, "He is fifteen, how is he blowing clouds already? Bring him in here." A boy walks in, and Johnny's mother says, "This isn't my son, bring him in here, I would like a word with him." The principal replies, "Ma'am, this is Clouds." The mother faints.

Why didn't the kid cancer patients like his joke?

He said, "You'll understand when you get older!"

I knew this one guy who liked to swim with the fishes, then the mob got a hold of 'em...

I like unicorns.

Most women are like the Twin Towers.

It's all fun and good when guys fly through them, but once the little people come jumping off them, it becomes sad and awful.

Why do orphans like to go to church?

So they have someone to call father.

If you're bored, punch an orphan in the face. What is he gonna do, tell his parents?

Karma is like rape.

What goes around comes around, like a dead rape victim in a whirlpool.

Like if you like school (I mean if you don't)!

Your hairline [is] so bad it went down like the Twin Towers.

What do my mom and a basketball have in common?

My mom's tits and ass are bouncy, just like a basketball.

What was OceanGate's biggest regret?

Not painting Dylan Mulvaney on the side of the Titan submarine for when it sunk like Bud Light's profits.

Why do Black people not like country music?

Because every time they hear "hoedown," they think their sister got shot.

My son caught me masturbating the other day and was like, "Dad, what are you doing?" I said, "Don't worry, you'll be doing it soon." He said, "Why is that?" I told him, "My arm is getting tired."

I don’t know why people don’t say "Cobain," because I’m pretty sure Kurt Cobain didn’t miss his last shot like Kobe did.

I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Lynx Africa is based on a nice smell. Do you think Lynx England would smell like Stella and disappointment?

What do Michael Jackson and a plastic bag have in common?

They both are plastic and like kids.

Orphans are like a trash can; they live outside.

Why does Joe Biden like cold weather? Because he’s used to being in the teens.

How is sex like air?

It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.