Like Jokes

I would tell you a time travel joke, but you did not like it.

Parents are like food—not all kids get them.

I hate people that hate life.

Me at the same time: Is cutting self at night.

*hides scars* *acts like I'm fine* hehe

I hear you like funny people. In fact, my whole life's a joke!

Comment on this if you are somewhat like me: depressed, single, gay, and act like you're not burning inside.

The image shows a split screen. On the left, there's a picture of actor Ryan Gosling. On the right, there's a picture of a man with a beard and glasses wearing a yellow shirt, who resembles the actor, smiling while touching his chin. The text above reads: "People been telling me I look like Ryan Gosling what y'all think?" Below the two photos is another text: "My mans posted two photos of Ryan Gosling like we wouldn't notice."

Yo mama slept with so many guys she's starting to look like one.

Yo hairline is built like the Mississippi River.

I like CHEESE!

There was an animal on my porch, then I shot it in the head. It was strange that it had coffee in its hand. I flipped it over, and it was an animal, but it looked a lot like my kid.

Hey, how ya doin'?

Well I'm doin' just fine, I lied, I'm DEAD inside.

Don't tell me "it's gonna be alright," I've tried, but I can't fight like this.

Hey how ya doin', I'm tired but I'm trying to fight.

Go up to your friend and say: "It smells like updog."

They will likely reply: "What's updog?"

To which you reply: "Nothing much, what about you?"

As an honest Penaldo fan, I have to admit he is a penalty merchant. He can only score against farmer teams like Spezia. He never shows up against great teams like Barcelona.

I've come to realize my hero Penaldo will never be better than Messi. My idol Penaldo is sadly finished.