Like jokes

Don't worry, the forehead jokes were recommended just like your hairline.

My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest with a rabid wolf.

"Like if u cry everytime."

How is sex like air?

It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.

I like abusing orphans, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?

God = what I hope to be.

Devil = what I can't accept.

I hope to be like Jesus, a dead martyr. I can't accept that my religion is evil.

Once when I was 6, I had a massive crush on a girl in my grade. She liked me too, and we kissed under a tree.

Next day, same spot, but now she's pregnant. That stupid dad stole my girl!

You know how there were like... two towers. I had so much fun playing Jenga in those planes! I WON!!!!!

Why do orphans like pedos? Because they have someone to call "daddy."

I would tell you a time travel joke, but you did not like it.

Parents are like food—not all kids get them.

I hate people that hate life.

Me at the same time: Is cutting self at night.

*hides scars* *acts like I'm fine* hehe

I hear you like funny people. In fact, my whole life's a joke!

Comment on this if you are somewhat like me: depressed, single, gay, and act like you're not burning inside.

Yo mama slept with so many guys she's starting to look like one.

Yo hairline is built like the Mississippi River.

I like CHEESE!

There was an animal on my porch, then I shot it in the head. It was strange that it had coffee in its hand. I flipped it over, and it was an animal, but it looked a lot like my kid.

Hey, how ya doin'?

Well I'm doin' just fine, I lied, I'm DEAD inside.

Don't tell me "it's gonna be alright," I've tried, but I can't fight like this.

Hey how ya doin', I'm tired but I'm trying to fight.

Go up to your friend and say: "It smells like updog."

They will likely reply: "What's updog?"

To which you reply: "Nothing much, what about you?"