Like jokes
Your hairline is so far back you look like Frankenstein.
Good sex sounds like a white man walking across the street with flip-flops on.
One dog said to the other dog, "Man, it is hard sleeping on the floor."
The other said, "Really? I like my bed."
I rolled over a log and underneath was a tiny little stick, and I was like, "That log had a child!"
Why did the grandmother put wheels on her rocking chair?
... she likes to rock and roll lol.
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
As many as you like. They can’t change anything.
Our teacher said for two kids to stare at a wall for no reason, so I said, "Hey wall, that ass flat like a pancake from McDonald's."
Hey guys, the prank for today is when I lied about feeling sick so I wouldn't have to go to school.
Introduction: This prank was committed a week ago! Around 5:00 a.m. in the morning!
1. I got out some eggs, milk, salt, and a little bit of mashed olives... well those are the main ingredients.
2. I mixed it all up for about 2 mins just to make it look really like barf...no going to school today!
3. I put it under the sofa just to give it some solid scent to it.
4. I fixed my breakfast eggs and bacon. Then when my mom comes down I...PULL OUT MY FAKE BARF!!!!! News flash make a fake excuse for her to leave! My excuse is "I need something its in my room I don't want to get cause it would waste time".
She fell for it. Then I pull out my FAKE barf which looks like real barf. Then you say or I said "Mom I don't feel so good"! News flash: Don't over sell it think about all that boring school work! and guess what she fell for it so I spend all day doing nothing...absolutely nothing!
Well that's the prank. Anymore pranks you want ask me in the comment section! Byeeeeeeeeeee
Wade, you're a joke. The worst joke.
Hoped this would be a safer, more fun place to talk to my BP friends, but I guess not.
I've also learned that some people think "worst jokes ever" = "terrible unfunny jokes that make light of people who died horribly or otherwise suffered" instead of things like "why did the chicken cross the road?"-type jokes.
Maybe I'm just too old at this point.
My love for you is like poop.
Whenever I feel you, I have to run to the toilet and flush you away.
There is a kid in my school who is exactly like Dahmer, but he doesn't eat ppl. Or does he...?
He's Dahmer's son @domink.
Little Johnny was in class, and his teacher asked, "How many of you guys are Trump fans?" Since the entire class wanted to be liked by the teacher, they all raised their hands, well, except Little Johnny. So the teacher asks, "Why are you being different again, Johnny?" So Little Johnny says, "Well, because I'm a Democrat. My mom is a Democrat, and my dad is a Democrat, so I'm a Democrat!" So then the teacher responds with, "Well, what if your mom was a moron, and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?" Well, Little Johnny says, "A Trump fan!"
Jasper likes little girls and Bin Laden.
1. You can't wash your eyes with soap.
2. You can't count your hair.
3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out.
4. You just tried number three.
5. When you tried number 3, you realized it was possible, only you look like a dog.
6. You're smiling right now because you realized you were fooled.
7. You skipped number 5.
8. You just checked if there was a number 5.
9. This is not my joke; all credit goes to Steps.
I like the iceberg... my favorite character was the iceberg!
Why do orphans like Minecraft? So they can build a home...
But a creeper blows it up.
Hailey: "Hey Brayden!"
Brayden: "Hey!"
*Music roles around*
*I tell Brayden Hailey likes him*
Brayden: "O_O"
Hailey: *Hides*
So sad </3 xD
How sad and pathetic is it that all you wait for after you finish a suicidal joke is for people to like your joke, but you know you'll just be a failure at that as well?
What do a priest and a pedo have in common?
Nothing, they both like kids.
Hey any riding with Biden fans out there?
I ran out of gas and could really use a ride so if one of ya'll can call me and pick me up that'd be great and I can't get gas because I only have 20 bucks which is like 1-5 and a half, help me please.