Like jokes
Russia vs Ukraine be like that COD Modern Warfare mission. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Why would Tommy kill Philza's wife just to make Phil believe she didn't exist?
LIKE AND SUB IF YOU LI/j
Bro, you can't talk; you look like the dwarf from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
Bro, yo goofy ahh hairline lookin' like a rhombicosidodecahedron.
Yo hairline so ugly, it looks like a newfound constellation.
Memes
I would like to complain about the new sushi restaurant at Gatwick Airport. Although there were large portions going round on the conveyor, they did taste a bit like luggage.
Why do orphans play GTA?
Because they need to know what it’s like to be wanted.
I like rocks, specifically Jeon Jungkook's rock hard abs. 😉🤭🤣
2 weeks here.
What do dicks and popsicles have in common?
They both like to be sucked on, and they sometimes choke you.
Yo mama is like train tracks; she gets laid all around the country.
Why don't you act like an amoeba and split?
Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz he felt like it mind your f***ing business like damn.
What do alien moms like to drink? Starbucks.
Little Sally comes home from school one day and says to her mom, "Mommy, mommy, you won’t believe it! Little Johnny just pulled out his PP in class." The mother responded, "Well, what did it look like?" Sally said, "It looks like a peanut." The mother said, "Oh, it was small." "No, it was salty," said Sally.
Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! 😂
Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.
Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.
I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
Kenya, if you keep smiling then you will become a positive bitchy!
Tenya, everyone hates you why I have no idea!
Kenya stop smiling and start dying!
Tenya, why are you so mean!
Kenya, stop acting like a mantrapp!
Tenya, stop being a bitch in a skirt!
Please leave a comment good or bad! cusswords whatever!
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 4
LIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.
DISLIKE: When you’re hiding from the school shooter next to people who made fun of you for having an Android: “HEY SIRI”
Vote for the better joke. Semifinals are later or tomorrow.
Two women, Jane and Emma, are in the afterlife waiting for judgement.
Emma turns to Jane and says, "I'm just curious, but how did you die?"
Jane replies with, "I burnt to death."
Emma, shocked, responds with, "That sounds horrible! What was it like?"
Jane answers with, "It first felt really hot and painful, but then I felt nothing. How did you die?"
Emma replies with, "Well, I believed my husband was cheating on me. I decided to leave work early one day to make sure he was loyal. I found him on the phone with his mother. I thought he was hiding something from me so I ran to the bedroom and found nothing. Then I sprinted to the kitchen and didn't find anything. I then jolted outside to the backyard and just found that he hadn't cleaned the pool. I was so tired from running that I fell over into the pool and drowned."
Jane retorts with, "Well if you checked the oven neither of us would be here right now."
What noise does Sally like to say? Splat!
My heart is like a plane.
It crashes every once in a while.