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Pork

Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?

Because Kermit likes his pork sweet and sour.

Lesbian

Why do lesbians shop at Sports Authority? Because they don’t like dicks.

Twin

The Twin Towers are like crippled legs; once they break, they can’t be fixed.

Grandma

Why does your grandma like gardening so much?

Because she loves getting dirty down on her knees.

Meat

Why do vegans like to make their food look and taste like meat?

Same reason lesbians use strap-ons. They still like putting meat in their hole, but they don’t like where real meat comes from.

Woman

Why is it that skinny men like fat women?

Because they need warmth in winter, and shade in summer.

Cat

When you tell an Asian kid it’s raining cats and dogs and he’s like, “Just open your mouth and close your eyes!”

Friend

My friend Josh made a joke about Liam's hairline, even though his ears are so big and his face looks like a monkey... if they were white.

Sex

If I like having sex and get with 15 people, are they getting sexified?

Rapper

Like if you listen to Kidd G.

Comment if you listen to Polo G.

Share if you listen to NBA Youngboy.

Do all if you listen to all of them and you all of them if Kobe Bryant is a legend.

Seal

I told a seal a joke, it went like this: "Why did the kid cross the playground?" He said, "Why?" I said, "To get to the other slide." And then he said, "That's the sealiest thing I've ever heard!"