Like jokes

Your hairline bent like the relationship with your mom and dad.

Roses are red, Your blood is too. You look like a monkey and belong in a zoo.

Do not worry, I will be there too, Not in a cage but laughing at you!

When a pregnant lady gives birth, it looks like she is having an erection.

My phone is just like the Twin Towers; they got put in airplane mode.

Parents are like food—not all kids get them.

This is why orphans are dangerous with cardboard. They either start eating it or making it into a house and hallucinating that they have a family.

So I threw out the cardboard and said, "You have to stay in reality. Fantasies aren't real. You can't and will never get a home."

Next day, they make cardboard parents, so I threw that away and said, "Pay attention to reality; you will never get parents."

Next day, they start acting like parents and tell me what to do. Again, I said, "Snap to reality. You will never be a parent!" The orphan responded with, "Oh, really?! How so?" I just simply said, "You don't have a house and parents. You literally like eating cardboard, and then you make parents out of it. You like to eat old people!"

Why does the Please Touch Museum sound like "police touch museum?"

Because they gotta watch out for the pedos.

Your mama's like a cardboard box: open to the public and easy to nail.

What's long and can never wait for more for the ladies' action and likes when it gets harder...

Your penis!

Like if you know what ashes are.

Teacher: We are going to Seville.

Girls: Omg, it's such a beautiful city. I can't wait to explore!

Boys: Ohh oh oh ohhh.

Omg thanks for 1000 likes!

If you're ever in need of a punching bag, just go to your local Alzheimer's unit.

They'll forget you were there in like three minutes.

Guy: Are you tired?

His “Crush”: No.

Guy: Are you sure, because you’ve been running through my mind all day?

His “Crush”: That’s sweet.

Guy: I’m joking, you don’t look like you do any running.

Make this the most liked post.

Why do orphans want to be criminals? Because they want to feel what it’s like to be wanted.

Why did the emo kid like the all black Oreos?

'Cause they're dark.

A black lady goes inside the drug store and asks the pharmacist, "Do you carry tampons?" Then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "Do you want the mini pads or the maxi pads?"

And then the black lady asks the pharmacist, "What is the difference?"

And then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "What is your flow like?"

And then the black lady tells the pharmacist, "Linoleum."

The last number of your like is the Amogus you get.

1: Amogus trollface

2: Frogus

3: Amogus in 2013

4: Chogus

5: Classic Amogus

6: Wait this isn't Amogus

7: Amogus drip

8: Amog sus

9: Amog stuff

First date be like:

Me: "I work with animals every day."

Her: "Oh, how sweet! What is it exactly that you do with them?"

Me: "I'm a butcher."

What game do zombies like to play?

Corpse and Robbers.