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Leo is like Monday mornings... everyone dreads her, but we're forced to deal with her anyway.

BlessedBrian's family reunions must be like a casting call for the Addams Family.

Even Bob Ross couldn’t paint a happy little accident like BLESSEDBRIAN.

I’d tell BlessedBrian to aim for the stars, but it seems like his GRAVITATIONAL PULL is holding him back.

Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?

-You have to be alive to have autism.

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  • Watching paint dry sounds like a thrill compared to spending time with Slade.

    BlessedBrian’s sense of humor is like a GPS without signal... LOST and going NOWHERE.

    A blind man walks into a woman's bar and asks the person next to him if she would like to hear a blonde joke. The woman says, "Before you tell your joke, you should know the bartender is blonde and has a shotgun, the bouncer is blonde and has a baseball bat, the two playing music are blonde and have pistols. Do you still want to tell that joke, cowboy?" He thought for a second and said, "Not if I have to explain it five times."

    "BlessedBrian" is like Monday mornings... everyone dreads him, but somehow he KEEPS SHOWING UP.

    BlessedBrian's face is like a mood ring... it turns blue whenever I'M around.