Like jokes
Friend: Did your tattoos hurt?
Me: Nah, not really.
Friend: What did they feel like?
Me: 7th grade.
Friend: 😶😶😨😰😰😰😨
Here are 20 jokes for you:
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner!
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them!
How does a bee style its hair? With a honeycomb!
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs!
Why don't eggs tell jokes? Because they might crack up!
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
What did one plate say to the other plate? Dinner is on me!
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they would be bagels!
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems!
How does a computer get drunk? It takes screenshots!
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bull-dozer!
I hope these jokes brought a smile to your face! Let me know if you'd like to hear more.
Your mom is so fat, she looks like she ate the marshmallow from Ghostbusters.
I told my emo girlfriend, "Do you like the lights?" Oh wait, she ain't got any.
I’d like to take you to the movies, but unfortunately, they don’t let you bring your own snacks.
How are orphans like broken pencils?
Neither of them have points.
Karma is like rape.
What goes around comes around, like a dead rape victim in a whirlpool.
So this is how I got divorced.
On my birthday my boss, who was a hot sexy woman who I have always had an eye on her huge ass and tits, wished me happy birthday and took me to her house. She went into the shower and came out dressed and this made me disappointed. But then she stripped off and made my dick go into her pussy and before I could realize I heard her main door creak. And in came my wife, mum, and my 2 kids, 8 years old and 12 years old. Although my wife joined in, she was mad after since that was not my wife, that was my wife's twin sister. Do not know why woman these days are like this!!!!!!!!!!
Being a hooker shouldn't be illegal.
It's like having an Airbnb for your dick.
Why does Mao Zedong like the east coast?
Because there is a red Sun in the sky.
Yo mama so fat, she likes long, romantic walks to the refrigerator.
The twin towers are like your father, they're both gone and will never come back.
When I get jokes. They aren't f****** restarted like you.
My sister.
What does Mammot like on a woman’s body?
Bum bum bummmm buuummmmm bummm.
How can you tell it's a gay barbecue?
'Cause all the hot dogs taste like shit.
There were two friends talking one day. Tim tells John, "I think I'm gay."
John says to Tim, "What do you mean?"
Tim says, "When I grow up, I want to dress like a woman and sing karaoke in a bar and call myself (Gillette the best a man can get)!"
John says to Tim, "I think you're right, and thanks for reminding me I need to buy razors."
What was OceanGate's biggest regret?
Not painting Dylan Mulvaney on the side of the Titan submarine for when it sunk like Bud Light's profits.
Your forehead and hairline are like friends; they go way back.
Your eyebrows run away like your dad.
Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it, but when I use her body when I feel like it, I am the bad guy?