Like jokes
Dark humor is like pussy: whining bitches don't get it.
Opinions are like orgasms. The only one that matters is mine and I don't care if you have one.
I bet you like men!
Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin off and eat them, they die.
Your mom is just like Rapunzel, but instead of letting down her hair, she lets everyone down! OHHHHH!
If boys are like sports because they are easy to play, then girls are like a sandwich. They are nice at first, but they're crusty after.
You're built like a double cheeseburger.
My grandma just died from cancer.
My last words to her were “I like your cut, G.”
A guy walks into a restaurant and orders turtle soup. The waiter hollers, "One turtle soup!"
A moment later, the guy calls the waiter over and says, "I’ve changed my mind, I would like pea soup." The waiter hollers, "Hold the turtle, and make it pea!"
Me being raped is like my birth certificate; it doesn't expire.
Hey any riding with Biden fans out there?
I ran out of gas and could really use a ride so if one of ya'll can call me and pick me up that'd be great and I can't get gas because I only have 20 bucks which is like 1-5 and a half, help me please.
An African man was walking in New York when he saw a sign that said, "Watch out for children."
He started laughing hysterically, then a white man asked him, "Why are you laughing?"
He said, "In Africa, they would never put up a sign like that."
A fat man coming in the store.
Waiter: Oh god, not again :|
Fat man: Hi, I would like three fries and 19 burgers.
Waiter: Sorry sir, you will get the owner's store out of stock on food. Can I get you a salad instead?
Fat man: Oh sorry, but I'm the owner, and I have a lot of stocks. For the record, you should get yourself my order. You're skinny af, girl. You trying to be a stick or something?
I think I banged a Chinese celebrity...
She kept screaming “I’m Wei Tu Yung” like I was supposed to know the name.
A cat in the desert be like:
YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Drama queens be like: =- (
Cancer is like your dad. It only comes back when Blueface baby drops a new album.
Like this comment if: - Your mom is sus - Your mum is sus
Dislike if: - You are horny.
Make this the most liked comment!
(I'm a girl btw)
;)
"Can I throw you away? You look like my trash can. Oh, wait, you *are* my trash can."