Like jokes
How come Mr. Squirrel watches porn sometimes?
Sometimes he feels like a nut, sometimes he don't.
Your forehead is built like the Indian flag.
I don't struggle with depression- like, at this point, I have it down. I'm good at depression.
What do you call an emo that likes pizza? A pizza cutter.
Why do candles like birthdays?
Because they can get lit!
Pickup lines in 2022 are like: "Are you Russia? Because your bombs are so big!"
If you think long and hard, oral sex is like cannibals.
Do you like CDs?
There's this really cool one called "C Deez Nuts."
Yo momma's legs are like cottage cheese: white and chunky.
Yo momma's so dirty that when I asked what was for dinner, she sat on the table, opened her legs, and said "Crabs."
Dear doctor,
I've heard it's a good sign when women scream your first name during sex, but recently women have been screaming my full name. It's weird, I feel like I'm famous. Can you tell me what this means?
Yours Truly, Ray Palp
Iām like an escalator because Iām always letting people down.
Hi, I like food.
A good man deserves a queen who will pussy slide on his penis casually, frig him with her thighs like a prostitute, make him laugh like a homie, cook like his mama.
Life isn't about pleasing yourself and that you have to do things for the sole benefit of God.
Itās like masturbation. Sometimes itās not getting yourself off, but getting someone else off too. Thatās what thighjobs are for.
Scissoring is nice when I grind my wee wee on my wifeās clit.
Humping that little guy is like riding a wet butt plug.
Itās nice hitting it from the back when my wife has wide hips.
Her butt cheeks look like big huge ball sacks as my thighs smack up against them when Iām thrusting. I like to finish off by grinding my weiner up and down her back like a gay man frotting his schlong on his partnerās ding dong.
The woman's body is shaped like a penis. If see a naked female body bent over, her butt looks like testicles, while her head can be seen as the head of a penis.
This is the same if she lies down right side up with her knees up and legs spread. If she lays upside down with her knees up and legs spread, her boobs are like testicles and her pelvic area is like the head of a penis. If you look at the shape of a vagina, itās shaped like a penis with the lips looking like testicles and the clit looks like the schlong.
Emo girls be like: How much am I worth...
Girl, scan the code on your wrist!
Michael Jackson is like a TV from the 1900s: black and white.
How do emos propose?
"Would you like to join my family tree?"