Like jokes

Girls are like bacteria. The toxic ones are everywhere, and you have to take special care of the good ones.

What sort of movies do cows like to watch?

Moosicals!

I visited the 9/11 memorial, that was bomb just like the towers.

The circular saw asked the chainsaw, "When am I as big as you?"

The chainsaw would answer with, "When you cut down some things in your life. Like your owner."

The circular saw would reply with, "What?"

9/11 was like the 4th of July. It was very bright in the skies.

The Pope drives around in a glass box, or as I like to call him, a sniper's dream.

I love telling good news to my patients, like they survived the crash but their family died.

I was fuming when I lost my job as a window cleaner, like who built the Twin Towers anyway?

Withered Bonnie, more like Bonnie Mcnutt!

What did the horses say to the donkeys?

"Jackasses, please like!"

How do emos like their meat cooked?

Medium rawr.

A bullet is like an arrow.

Nothing can stop it from going through your head.

I used to have a goldfish which breakdanced on the floor. But only for like twenty seconds.

Everybody is wondering what position Kenny will give his brother in their new company.

Probably top.

Kenny likes to be the bottom in every sexual encounter.

Don't you just hate it when your grandmas always complaining about things getting stuck between her false teeth, like my foreskin?

Well, if Stephen Hawking likes black holes so much, why did he call security when I put my hole on his face?

Don't you find it ironic that Kobe Bryant bounced his helicopter off the ground like a basketball?

My Indian wife said last night if her fanny would taste like vindaloo curry, I said I've smelt your fucking armpits, you've got no chance.

A teacher walked up to me and said, "How did we get butt cracks?"

I was like 4, so I said, "You had an earthquake on your booty."

Bootylicious lol

What does a priest and a male homosexual have in common?

They both like to suck a big cock inside the men's locker room at the gym.