Light jokes
Wade, you're a joke. The worst joke.
Hoped this would be a safer, more fun place to talk to my BP friends, but I guess not.
I've also learned that some people think "worst jokes ever" = "terrible unfunny jokes that make light of people who died horribly or otherwise suffered" instead of things like "why did the chicken cross the road?"-type jokes.
Maybe I'm just too old at this point.
God said, “Let there be light,” so it beamed off your forehead, and so I turned into Stevie Wonder and called it night.
When the school shooter runs out of ammo: K a l m.
When he grabs a full mag: P a n i k.
When he looks back and doesn't see you, but you're hiding in one of the classrooms: K a l m.
When the autistic kid's Sketchers light up: P A N I K.
Yo mama's so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," he asked her to move out of the way.
I wanted to visit my pet fish, but it was hard to sea it through the darkness.
At night in the Nunnery, one Nun says to the other Nun, "Where's the candle?" The other Nun says, "Doesn't it!"
I crashed into the back of a car at the lights today.
A really short guy got out of it and said, “I’m not happy.”
I said, “Well, which one are you then?”
You're so ugly that if you looked in the mirror, you would walk into the light.
When God said, "Let there be light," he got blinded because you reflected it off your forehead.
What do you call a son of Gilgamesh that hates flashy lights? The epileptic of Gilgamesh.
What does a white person say when they're surrounded by black guys? "Hey, who turned the lights out?!"
If the sun is in space, then why is there light on Earth, but not in space?
How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because they're so DARN STUPID!!!!
How do you know you are blessed by God?
You don’t laugh at, make light of, or enjoy the evils and suffering people are inflicting on themselves and upon each other.
Do you want to hear a dark joke? Let me turn the lights off.
How many crack heads does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, there is no electricity.
A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?" The little boy says, "That's my little red race car." 10 minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?" The little girl says, "That's my little red race car garage."
So later that night the boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She says yes, and they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won't fit. Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs upstairs, flips on the lights, and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?" The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn't fit, so I cut the back wheels off."
Watersharky Music Productions Presents As It Was by Harry Styles.
Holdin' me back Gravity's holdin' me back I want you to hold out the palm of your hand Why don't we leave it at that?
Nothin' to say When everything gets in the way Seems you cannot be replaced And I'm the one who will stay, oh-oh-oh
In this world, it's just us You know it's not the same as it was In this world, it's just us You know it's not the same as it was As it was, as it was You know it's not the same
Answer the phone "Harry, you're no good alone Why are you sitting at home on the floor? What kind of pills are you on?"
Ringin' the bell And nobody's coming to help Your daddy lives by himself He just wants to know that you're well, oh-oh-oh
In this world, it's just us You know it's not the same as it was In this world, it's just us You know it's not the same as it was As it was, as it was You know it's not the same
Go home, get ahead, light-speed internet I don't wanna talk about the way that it was Leave America, two kids follow her I don't wanna talk about who's doin' it first.
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
102, if you have some alive ones.
Frank Bulgin is freaky bold, A man with a spirit untamed, untold. With eyes that pierce through the darkest night, He walks a path that's far from light.
His steps are loud, his presence strong, A force of nature, where he belongs. Through the chaos, he finds his way, Leaving footprints that never fade.
A rebel soul, unafraid to speak, His words drip with passion, so unique. He dances with danger, embraces the unknown, Challenging limits, into the wild he's thrown.
No rules can bind him, no walls can contain, Frank Bulgin sets fire to the mundane. He paints the sky with vibrant hues, A kaleidoscope of dreams he pursues.
In his mind, a symphony of thoughts, An artist's palette, where inspiration is sought. He weaves words like a masterful bard, Creating tapestries that leave us marred.
With each verse, he unravels his soul, Unveiling the depths that make him whole. His poetry, a window to his essence, A glimpse into a world of fearless presence.
Frank Bulgin is freaky bold, A maverick, a legend yet to be told. His spirit roams, forever untamed, A beacon of courage, never to be tamed.