Lifestyle jokes
What type of people have the record of the most amount of stories read?
Emos, they're still in the air.
I wanted to play Fruit Ninja, but remembered I don’t have a phone. Guess I gotta draw fruit on my arm!
When the emo kid says let’s play truth or dare, You know it’s about to hang over.
How often do emos go swimming in a lifetime?
Just once.
Why can't an emo person be in charge of sky diving?
He won't deploy the parachute.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they sit in the dark and cry xdddd.
I'm so glad I am not gay. It seems like a pain in the ass.
LOL.
How many emos does it take to fix a light?
I don't know because they never came down.
I told my friend you should definitely quit smoking, but he could not find me because he was already up in flames.
When an emo asks you to hang out under a tree...
What do emos do when they meet up?
They hang out.
I thought the dryer made my clothes shrink.
Turns out it was the fridge.
What’s a lesbian’s favorite sport? Dodge balls.
Did you know emo kids are the highest jumpers in the world? Some are still up there!
Q: What do you call a gay cowboy?
A: A jolly rancher.
Quoting the great Jimmy Carr: "When I cook, I make sure there are vegetarian options. They can make do, or they can fuck off."
I wish my grass was emo, it would cut itself.
Ask the emo kid: "Hey, how's it hanging?"
Who can jump the highest?
Emos, some of them are still falling.
Why was the emo jealous of the orange?
It came precut.