Lifestyle jokes

Why do emo kids not like trees? They always leave them hanging.

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, they sit in the dark and cry xdddd.

When the emo kid says let’s play truth or dare, You know it’s about to hang over.

How often do emos go swimming in a lifetime?

Just once.

Why can't an emo person be in charge of sky diving?

He won't deploy the parachute.

When an emo asks you to hang out under a tree...

I told my friend you should definitely quit smoking, but he could not find me because he was already up in flames.

How many emos does it take to fix a light?

I don't know because they never came down.

What do emos do when they meet up?

They hang out.

I broke up with my emo girlfriend yesterday, look who came crawling back!

I'm so glad I am not gay. It seems like a pain in the ass.

LOL.

I wish my grass was emo, so then it could cut itself.

I'm high and it's very hot.

I need some water, but I don't got none. AHAHA.

Quoting the great Jimmy Carr: "When I cook, I make sure there are vegetarian options. They can make do, or they can fuck off."

If you take your dog for a walk and you BOTH use the fire hydrant down at the corner...you might be a Redneck!

I thought the dryer made my clothes shrink.

Turns out it was the fridge.

Explain bear still lives in his mother's basement.

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.

You're so fat you need butter to get in the car.

What is the difference between a hipster and a hockey player?

A hockey player showers.