Why do emos cut themselves?
To play noughts and crosses.
Yo mama so fat, that’s why people don’t want to marry her, except for fat guys.
Your mama so fat when she sits on the toilet it sings, "ABC, 123, get your fat ass off of me!"
Why did the emo get put at the back of the line? He cut himself.
Why'd the emo have no friends?
"Because they like to hang by themself."
In the cute fantasies: "Est-ce que tu manges du poulet? Attendez une seconde, VOTRE PROFESSEUR VEGAN!!!!!"
In reality: "Are you eating chicken? Wait a second, YOUR THE VEGAN TEACHER!!!"
You know you’re getting fat when you sit in the bath, and the water in the bath rises.
A kid just becomes an orphan, well, I guess it's better than being a hobo.
I heard there is a zozo hobo who eats all your Pringles.
What do Emos say when they trick-or-treat?
"Boo-hoo!"
What happens to emo kids when they go up?
They never come down.
This is true. Today I was at the mall and there was a guy holding a sign that said, "Need money for strippers and weed."
What's the most emo name?
Carter.
What’s the difference between a normal kid and an Emo?
When you feel an Emo's arm, there’s lots of texture! Feels great, too!
Son: What's for dinner tonight?
Mom: Steak!
Son: Mom, you know I only eat veggies, so what's for me?
Mom: HUNGER!
What is a gay man's favorite hobby?
Cockfighting.
We were so poor that every time I passed by a butcher shop, I thought there had been a horrible accident.
Amanda Bynes is a lush blond who has quickly become a blond lush.
I had to give up my vegetarian diet.
Turns out they're a lot harder to catch than cows.
What kind of milk does a new age calf drink?
Dairy free.
Me and my brother talking about relationships.
Me: We live kind of differently.
Brother: We're sort of alike.
Me: We're not alike.
Brother, because he's taken: 'Cause you don't have a boyfriend!
My thoughts: You're right. 'Cause I have a girlfriend!
