Lifestyle jokes

Just buy emo grass, then you will never have to mow your lawn again.

What do you call a group of emos? The suicide squad.

How do you end an argument with an emo? Kick the chair.

An emo tried to high-five a tree.

It left him hanging.

What do emos and apples have in common? They both hang off trees.

How do you make an emo mad at you?

Cut the rope.

Q: What do you call a gay cowboy?

A: A jolly rancher.

I wanted to play Fruit Ninja, but remembered I don’t have a phone. Guess I gotta draw fruit on my arm!

How often do emos go swimming in a lifetime?

Just once.

When the emo kid says let’s play truth or dare, You know it’s about to hang over.

Why can't an emo person be in charge of sky diving?

He won't deploy the parachute.

Quoting the great Jimmy Carr: "When I cook, I make sure there are vegetarian options. They can make do, or they can fuck off."

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, they sit in the dark and cry xdddd.

How many emos does it take to fix a light?

I don't know because they never came down.

What do emos do when they meet up?

They hang out.

I told my friend you should definitely quit smoking, but he could not find me because he was already up in flames.

I'm so glad I am not gay. It seems like a pain in the ass.

LOL.

I broke up with my emo girlfriend yesterday, look who came crawling back!

When an emo asks you to hang out under a tree...

If you take your dog for a walk and you BOTH use the fire hydrant down at the corner...you might be a Redneck!