Life jokes
What's the difference between an orphan and a dew?
One goes up and one goes down.
How do blind kids get punished?
By moving the furniture around the house.
Friend: How's it going?
Me: Good, things are good!
Parent: How are you?
Me: Oh, I'm fine!
Twitter: Compose new tweet?
Me: Hellooooo, I would like to tell you about my anxiety & my current greatest fears & let's talk about the impending apocalypse while we're at it.
If R. Kelly was a therapist:
14 year old: I hate my life.
R. Kelly: I feel you.
I forgot you can't make depression jokes outside of Twitter, lmao. My coworker was like, "You ready for this year to be over?"
I was like, "I'm ready for this life to be over." He was like, "Bro, what?"
Why do risky people have cats?
So they have 10 lives with them.
Why do orphans love school so much?
They have no HOMEWORK.
I asked an orphan where his parents were.
(God, I wish I knew)
Q: What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
A: One of them gets picked.
Hello, everyone, how is your day today?
"Never going to give you up." That's not what the orphan's parents said.
I saw a little kid crying today. I asked where his parents were, and he started to cry more. I left the orphanage to get some milk after that.
Imagine not having a dad.
Why can't orphans have a large bag of crisps?
Because it's family size! 😂
When you think of the word "simp," you think of a girl. "Girl" stands for ghosts in real life. Another word for simp is "ding dong." Put them together, and you get ghosts in real life with ding dongs.
Life is like a game of poker, guys start by going with them clubs, ladies follow with a set of hearts, guys put down the diamonds, and before you know it you got a full house.
Your life, that's all.
What animal has more lives than a cat?
A frog. It croaks every night.
Friend: If you could get rid of any one person in your life, who would it be?
Me: Me.
Friend: *does nothing*
(x_x)
I forgot that I don't have friends.
I was born yesterday, and I walked down memory lane. I fell over the edge!