Life jokes

Life is a bitch, and people make it worse.

This thing that I'm in ("am") is a forsaken curse (beta).

Why does this exist?

I'd tell a bad baby joke, but I decided to abort.

I got written up on "Take Your Daughter To Work Day." Apparently, it only applies to daughters who are alive.

What do you call a disabled kid's sweat?

VEGETABLE OIL!

What do you call a Black man having a seizure?

Chocolate shake.

I just had the worst gig of my life! I told yo mama jokes at the orphanage.

If I slap an orphan, what will it do, tell its parents? 🤣😂🤣😂

What is the difference between E.T. and an orphan?

E.T. can actually call home.

I went to the store, and yeah...

Fun fact: If you're an orphan, you probably don't know your parents.

What day should you drink water?

Thursday, Thirstday!

I was born yesterday, and I walked down memory lane. I fell over the edge!

What did the fish say to the other fish?

"I want my life to be H2O-ver!"

Hi, oooo was the day I was a kid. I was going home to school today after dinner!

What’s one thing Obama proved during his presidency?

No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he’s still going to have the cops on his back.

What's the difference between me and my mate...

I left my dad, while hers left with their friend Cancer.

The only thing funnier than the shooting of that healthcare CEO is imagining the look on his wife's face when she got the hospital bill.

Attention! Has anyone noticed that Watersharky and Kitten are dating? It's strange because they haven't said anything for 28 DAYS!!! They been keeping it a secret...(I guess). Someone needs to keep track of this. GOD, I just thought further into life with their relationship. DON'T DO THAT.

Daughter: So, I got my period.

Mom: That's wonderful, dear! Now you can bleed for a whole week a month without dying!

Daughter: That's nice, Mum, but isn't the whole point of getting your period dying?

Mom: Yes, but you have to kill yourself a little longer to live through to another day.

Daughter: Thanks, Mum. That makes a whole lot of sense. (Sarcastically.)

Mom: You're welcome, honey. (Clueless, obviously.)