Life

Life jokes

Syndrome

Irritable Bowel Syndrome saved me from depression...

It’s hard to feel empty when you’re so full of shiii fuck ur mom.

Orphan

What is the difference between a normal kid and an orphan?

A normal kid has a family.

Orphan

What does a deaf person and an orphan have in common? They both can’t hear their parents.

Why can’t an orphan go to Family Dollar? They don’t have a family.

Don’t mess with an emo because if their friends pull up, you gotta fight the suicide squad.

Child

What might an aborted child want for Christmas?

..... a home that isn't a bin.

Orphan

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

Man

I decided today that I was going to do something with my life, something amazing, and I decided to punch a homeless man.

People

What do suicidal people and apples have in common?

They both hang from trees.

Point

Why do we even live? We're just gonna die anyway, so what's the point?

Comeback

Guy: Fight me on Xbox. Guy: Oh right, you don't have one *laughs*

Me: Fight me in real life. Me: Oh right, you don't have a real life. *INSERTS APPLE BOTTOM JEANS*

2021-2022

Orphan

To all of you making jokes about orphans, it’s all fun and games until both of your parents leave you.

LMFAO (my parents left me and it’s not the funniest thing ever)

Virgin

He: I am 60 and I have to slog 12 hours a day to make a living. Do you call it life?

She: I am 28 and still a virgin, do you call it life?

Friend

Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.

Stork

I was watching a documentary about how storks carry babies from their previous life to the next.

In his old life, Michael Jackson must’ve been a teddy bear. The storks let him play with kids for a change.