Life jokes

"Never going to give you up." That's not what the orphan's parents said.

Hello, everyone, how is your day today?

When you think of the word "simp," you think of a girl. "Girl" stands for ghosts in real life. Another word for simp is "ding dong." Put them together, and you get ghosts in real life with ding dongs.

Life is like a game of poker, guys start by going with them clubs, ladies follow with a set of hearts, guys put down the diamonds, and before you know it you got a full house.

Your life, that's all.

What animal has more lives than a cat?

A frog. It croaks every night.

Friend: If you could get rid of any one person in your life, who would it be?

Me: Me.

Friend: *does nothing*

(x_x)

I forgot that I don't have friends.

Fun fact: If you're an orphan, you probably don't know your parents.

Life is a bitch, and people make it worse.

This thing that I'm in ("am") is a forsaken curse (beta).

What did the fish say to the other fish?

"I want my life to be H2O-ver!"

What day should you drink water?

Thursday, Thirstday!

I was born yesterday, and I walked down memory lane. I fell over the edge!

I went to the store, and yeah...

Attention! Has anyone noticed that Watersharky and Kitten are dating? It's strange because they haven't said anything for 28 DAYS!!! They been keeping it a secret...(I guess). Someone needs to keep track of this. GOD, I just thought further into life with their relationship. DON'T DO THAT.

Daughter: So, I got my period.

Mom: That's wonderful, dear! Now you can bleed for a whole week a month without dying!

Daughter: That's nice, Mum, but isn't the whole point of getting your period dying?

Mom: Yes, but you have to kill yourself a little longer to live through to another day.

Daughter: Thanks, Mum. That makes a whole lot of sense. (Sarcastically.)

Mom: You're welcome, honey. (Clueless, obviously.)

Guy 1: How far are we going?

Guy 2: About as far as somebody's miscarriage.

Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.

What’s the difference between life and a rape joke?

Life fucks you until you stop breathing; a rape joke fucks you until it’s not funny anymore.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

What might an aborted child want for Christmas?

..... a home that isn't a bin.