Life jokes
What’s one thing Obama proved during his presidency?
No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he’s still going to have the cops on his back.
I'd tell a bad baby joke, but I decided to abort.
I got written up on "Take Your Daughter To Work Day." Apparently, it only applies to daughters who are alive.
Your life, that's all.
What animal has more lives than a cat?
A frog. It croaks every night.
It's 5050
Friend: If you could get rid of any one person in your life, who would it be?
Me: Me.
Friend: *does nothing*
(x_x)
I forgot that I don't have friends.
I went to the store, and yeah...
Life is a bitch, and people make it worse.
This thing that I'm in ("am") is a forsaken curse (beta).
Attention! Has anyone noticed that Watersharky and Kitten are dating? It's strange because they haven't said anything for 28 DAYS!!! They been keeping it a secret...(I guess). Someone needs to keep track of this. GOD, I just thought further into life with their relationship. DON'T DO THAT.
Daughter: So, I got my period.
Mom: That's wonderful, dear! Now you can bleed for a whole week a month without dying!
Daughter: That's nice, Mum, but isn't the whole point of getting your period dying?
Mom: Yes, but you have to kill yourself a little longer to live through to another day.
Daughter: Thanks, Mum. That makes a whole lot of sense. (Sarcastically.)
Mom: You're welcome, honey. (Clueless, obviously.)
Why can't orphans breathe? They are drowning in their own tears.
To all of you making jokes about orphans, it’s all fun and games until both of your parents leave you.
LMFAO (my parents left me and it’s not the funniest thing ever)
What does an abortion joke and a fetus have in common... The joke never gets old, and neither does the kid.
I decided today that I was going to do something with my life, something amazing, and I decided to punch a homeless man.
What might an aborted child want for Christmas?
..... a home that isn't a bin.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
I was watching a documentary about how storks carry babies from their previous life to the next.
In his old life, Michael Jackson must’ve been a teddy bear. The storks let him play with kids for a change.
What is the difference between a normal kid and an orphan?
A normal kid has a family.
Irritable Bowel Syndrome saved me from depression...
It’s hard to feel empty when you’re so full of shiii fuck ur mom.
What does a deaf person and an orphan have in common? They both can’t hear their parents.
Why can’t an orphan go to Family Dollar? They don’t have a family.
Don’t mess with an emo because if their friends pull up, you gotta fight the suicide squad.