Life jokes
Q: What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
A: One of them gets picked.
"Never going to give you up." That's not what the orphan's parents said.
Hello, everyone, how is your day today?
Imagine not having a dad.
What animal has more lives than a cat?
A frog. It croaks every night.
Friend: If you could get rid of any one person in your life, who would it be?
Me: Me.
Friend: *does nothing*
(x_x)
I forgot that I don't have friends.
When you think of the word "simp," you think of a girl. "Girl" stands for ghosts in real life. Another word for simp is "ding dong." Put them together, and you get ghosts in real life with ding dongs.
Life is like a game of poker, guys start by going with them clubs, ladies follow with a set of hearts, guys put down the diamonds, and before you know it you got a full house.
The only thing funnier than the shooting of that healthcare CEO is imagining the look on his wife's face when she got the hospital bill.
Attention! Has anyone noticed that Watersharky and Kitten are dating? It's strange because they haven't said anything for 28 DAYS!!! They been keeping it a secret...(I guess). Someone needs to keep track of this. GOD, I just thought further into life with their relationship. DON'T DO THAT.
Daughter: So, I got my period.
Mom: That's wonderful, dear! Now you can bleed for a whole week a month without dying!
Daughter: That's nice, Mum, but isn't the whole point of getting your period dying?
Mom: Yes, but you have to kill yourself a little longer to live through to another day.
Daughter: Thanks, Mum. That makes a whole lot of sense. (Sarcastically.)
Mom: You're welcome, honey. (Clueless, obviously.)
Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.
What do you call an orphan?
A bootysnagger45.
What did the cow call its own life? An udder mistake.
What’s the difference between life and a rape joke?
Life fucks you until you stop breathing; a rape joke fucks you until it’s not funny anymore.
Guy 1: How far are we going?
Guy 2: About as far as somebody's miscarriage.
What does an abortion joke and a fetus have in common... The joke never gets old, and neither does the kid.
Why can't orphans breathe? They are drowning in their own tears.
To all of you making jokes about orphans, it’s all fun and games until both of your parents leave you.
LMFAO (my parents left me and it’s not the funniest thing ever)
What might an aborted child want for Christmas?
..... a home that isn't a bin.