Life jokes
I'm not going to bungee jump. I was born because of broken rubber and I'm not gonna die the same way.
Life is a lot like a penis. It's relaxed, and just hanging there.
It's women that make it hard.
Nobody likes you because you are an orphan.
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.
Why? You ask.
Because it only takes one charge to bring it back to life.
If I were a cat, I'd spend all nine of my lives with you.
What is hell to you?
Jesus!!!!!
He is everywhere taking our time and energy and our lives for his entertainment.
But Judgment Day is his eternal hell!
And our Eternal Heaven!!
Me and a person downtown.
Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night.
Me: I guess so.
Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this?
Me: I don't know. I used to, but don't anymore.
Person: Why'd you stop?
Me: Unfortunately, I lived every time I'd try something.
Get a head in life by decapitating someone.
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!!!!!!! Hahahaha. Banta everyone on this site has 0 life and should leave.
I saw a kid crying, so I asked them where their parents were.
God, I love working at an orphanage!
Dentist: Open up, sir.
Me: So... I hate my life, my family, my sisters, my dog, my cat, and I tried to take a bath with my toaster, but my dog took it. That's why I hate my dog. And my cat died trying to chew my rope; it choked... Yea.
Dentist: I... meant your mouth... so I can clean your teeth.
Me: :O Ohhhh, my bad.
Dentist: Do you need help??
Me: Yep.
Dentist: ...
Me: ....
Don't joke about Juice WRLD; he died a hard life, so get f***ed.
I wish that when Mario dies to some random object, I died too.
-->[]life death[]<--
I had a good day.
Why does Adam buy airsoft guns, you might ask?
To defend himself against his own father... his life must be shit.
Why did Technoblade die?
He couldn't respawn in real life!
Suicidal thoughts aren’t nice, but nor is life. So why not get them both done and over with?
Hey, Kenya, what is your favorite song?
"Lonely."
What day should you drink water?
Thursday, Thirstday!