Life jokes
What do you call a disabled kid's sweat?
VEGETABLE OIL!
What's the difference between me and my mate...
I left my dad, while hers left with their friend Cancer.
What do you call a Black man having a seizure?
Chocolate shake.
Attention! Has anyone noticed that Watersharky and Kitten are dating? It's strange because they haven't said anything for 28 DAYS!!! They been keeping it a secret...(I guess). Someone needs to keep track of this. GOD, I just thought further into life with their relationship. DON'T DO THAT.
Daughter: So, I got my period.
Mom: That's wonderful, dear! Now you can bleed for a whole week a month without dying!
Daughter: That's nice, Mum, but isn't the whole point of getting your period dying?
Mom: Yes, but you have to kill yourself a little longer to live through to another day.
Daughter: Thanks, Mum. That makes a whole lot of sense. (Sarcastically.)
Mom: You're welcome, honey. (Clueless, obviously.)
Memes
Guy 1: How far are we going?
Guy 2: About as far as somebody's miscarriage.
Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What might an aborted child want for Christmas?
..... a home that isn't a bin.
What do suicidal people and apples have in common?
They both hang from trees.
Guy: Fight me on Xbox. Guy: Oh right, you don't have one *laughs*
Me: Fight me in real life. Me: Oh right, you don't have a real life. *INSERTS APPLE BOTTOM JEANS*
2021-2022
Why do we even live? We're just gonna die anyway, so what's the point?
I decided today that I was going to do something with my life, something amazing, and I decided to punch a homeless man.
Why can't orphans breathe? They are drowning in their own tears.
To all of you making jokes about orphans, it’s all fun and games until both of your parents leave you.
LMFAO (my parents left me and it’s not the funniest thing ever)
Irritable Bowel Syndrome saved me from depression...
It’s hard to feel empty when you’re so full of shiii fuck ur mom.
I was watching a documentary about how storks carry babies from their previous life to the next.
In his old life, Michael Jackson must’ve been a teddy bear. The storks let him play with kids for a change.
What is the difference between a normal kid and an orphan?
A normal kid has a family.
What does a deaf person and an orphan have in common? They both can’t hear their parents.
Why can’t an orphan go to Family Dollar? They don’t have a family.
Don’t mess with an emo because if their friends pull up, you gotta fight the suicide squad.
What did the cow call its own life? An udder mistake.