Life jokes
"Boom, quick; you have five seconds to give me three reasons to live." "1......2......3 .....4....5..." Did you notice you said nothing at all?
Do you know what my favorite time of day is?
6:30, hands down.
There is nothing funnier than my life. (Evan 2020)
Good day today, love you. Walk in love day and a walk home night. Night, night. I did not get snow. I love it is the day that we get a tree. I have to go get some sleep. Was good day at school today, but I’m going to be...
How is a child with cancer and dark humor similar? They never get old.
So, a man was on a ledge ready to kill himself because he got laid off at work and his girlfriend cheated on him. He was about to jump until he saw from a mountainside a little guy with no arms dancing around. So he thought, "Maybe my life ain't so bad." So he went to the mountainside. "Thank you," he said, "I was gonna jump off a bridge and kill myself until I saw you dancing, even though you have no arms. Dancing?" the armless man said bitterly, "My asshole itches and I can't scratch it."
I had a good day.
I love having fun.
If you put your foot in a pond, your foot will get wet.
No joke, I just wasted about 5 or 6 seconds of your life.
I help suicidal people.
BTW verb not adjective.
Life is like a box of chocolates, they f*cking melt :)
What is the difference between a human being and a tree?
A human can walk and a tree cannot walk.
What made me laugh?
The fact that my life is a joke."
I have special needs, and I was born with it.
Why does the large dildo not have any friends?
He's a pain in the ass.
Your family in a nutshell.
1. You're so dumb, you think Cheerios are donut seeds!
2. You're so fat, you could sell shade!
3. You're just like coconut water, nobody likes you!
4. Have you been shopping lately? Because they're selling lives around the corner, you should go get one!
If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence!!
Are these good?
I love time.
What do you call an orphan?
A bootysnagger45.
Why is time important? To not be late.