Life jokes
What's the resemblance between a microwave and human reproduction?
They both make a sound at the end.
What is the difference between a kid with cancer and dark humor?
Dark humor never dies!
When I try to eat, but I hurt my feet. When I using a hoe, but I hurt my toe. When I going to a doctor, but then I get trolled. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I using a copper, but I enveloped by a hopper. When I trying to draw someone, but it ended up with a punishment. When I spit on a bunny, it jumps right on me. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I growing older, someone called me a slacker. When I was 33, I bumped into a tree. When I getting angry, people calls me crazy lady. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
You know what relationships and life? They both come to an end.
What goes in and out and saves your life but is not sexual?
Diabetes.
A child with cancer says, "Mother, what will I be when I grow up?"
Then the mother says, "Shut up, dick, you have cancer!" Hehehe.
One night, a girl said to her family, "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodnight Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa." The next morning, her grandpa died. That night, she said, "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodbye Grandma." The next morning, the grandma died. The dad started to fear for his life because he was next. That night, the girl said, "Goodnight Mommy, Goodbye Daddy." The next morning, the dad woke up and he was perfectly fine, but when he went into the kitchen, he saw his wife crying. When he asked her what's wrong, she said, "The mailman died."
What is the scariest thing you'll ever see in your life? James Charles thinking he has rights.
I'm the joke, bitch.
My joke is about Archer, riddles, sex life. Wait, sorry, there is none.
Thanks for reading Archer’s love life story.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To find his family. Sorry!
I asked my North Korean friend, "what's it like to live in North Korea?" He responded, "can't complain."
Why was the dog so stressed out?
It had a ruff day.
What day should you drink water?
Thursday, Thirstday!
What did the fish say to the other fish?
"I want my life to be H2O-ver!"
What's the worst part about getting old?
Going to pull up the wrinkles in your socks, just to find out you're not wearing socks!
My mom gave me a box of chocolates, and she said life is like a box of chocolates, but then it kind of tastes like dog shit.
What did the orphan say to his father?
Nothing, he doesn't have one.
Teachers: Do you give your mother that attitude?
Orphan: ...
What do you call a deaf child?
-Ryan Simmonite-