So I walk into Orchids Of Asia. I come out three minutes later with the best massage of my life. What's the catch? Aye, there, matey, the catch of the day be crabs.
Life Jokes
Website: Submit a joke :-)
Me: My life.
Your life is the best joke ever.
Fun fact: If you're an orphan, you probably don't know your parents.
Once I was 7.
I hate my birthday. For my first birthday my mom gave me my life. I liked it when it was new and fun. Now it's broken and sad and I wanna take it back.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Your mom.
Fuck you you rwind my life.
My teacher told me to have a good day. SOOOOOOOOOO I went home :)
Three doctors go into a room to get rid of a dead guy's body. They notice when they walk over that he has a boner. The first doctor decides, "Why not fuck him? He still has a boner left in him." The second says, "Well, he's dead, and I am a virgin." The third one says, "I can't, I'm on my period," and then says, "Okay, why not? He's already dead. It's not like he doesn't smell bad." After all that, they go to walk out, and the guy pops up and says, "Thanks for saving my life, pumping blood back into my body..."
What did my grandpa say after he kicked the bucket?
Nothing, I unplugged his life support before he said a word.
My life #freemymanrkelly
You wanna know what's a concept? An orphan being homeschooled.
If I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn because they are Beautiful, Majestic, Sparkly, Bright, Gods. They create Joy and Happiness everywhere they go.
Unicorns made my life better when I got to know them more. ^-^ They filled my life with more Happiness. I believe in the Unicorns, and they'll believe in me. I am not a Unicorn, although I am the Princess of the Unicorn Land, but if I could be any creature, I would be a Unicorn! :P
5+2 = 7
But 4+3 also = 7
So take your own path.
My grandpa said I'm too reliant on technology... so I screamed that he was a hypocrite and I unplugged his life support.
Joke: Tori’s boyfriend's life 😂😂
A surgeon loses his job as he botched a surgery.
boss: "We have to let you go."
surgeon: "I protest innocence."
boss: "How?"
surgeon: "I thought doing your job and saving people's lives were two different things."
boss: "Get out!"
Once upon a time, there was a man named Daniel. He was blind and deaf, and he worked at a morgue.
So one time, poor Dan got confused and started having sex with the rotting corpse.
He then came home and thought he was at the morgue, so he started disintegrating his sleeping wife.
Everything.
A joke: my life, hahahahaha! Wait, it's not funny.
