Letter jokes
Why did the rape victim stop eating pears?
Because she was told that if you rearrange the letters "PEAR," it spells "rape."
Did you know the F in Orphan stands for family?
Was drinking in a bar with this girl when I suddenly blacked out. The next morning I received a letter saying they are processing my child benefits application, dafaq? I never had kids.
Why do risky people have cats?
So they have 10 lives with them.
What is an astronaut's favorite letter on a keyboard?
SPACE.
There is no "W" in the word "Africa," just like there is no water.
Nope, nope, and nope.
What is Hitler's favorite letter?
Not-Z.
Spell 'Imap' and say 'ness' at the end.
What does a student always get on an alphabet test?
A!
What are the four letters you don’t want to hear from a dentist?
I C D K
I can make a word with those: "DICK".
Me: I'm afraid of random letters.
Therapist: You are?
Me: [screams]
Therapist: Oh, I see.
Me: [screaming intensifies]
Funny how "Hawking" rhymes with "talking" and "walking," and he can't do either.
And the first four letters of his Christian name spell "step," and he also can't do that.
What are the four letters you don't want to hear from a dentist?
I C D K
Why is dark spelt with a K and not a C?
Because they can’t see their parents.
Dear Slim Shady,
balls.
How do you spell ihop?
Then spell ihop and say "ness".
What does the 'w' in Africa stand for? Water.
Why does an orphan start with an "O"?
Because they only see their parents in their dream.
Why did the polack try writing a letter with his dick?
Because he didn't have a pen to write with.