Letter jokes
What are the first four letters of the alphabet?
Mum: (noticing the child's hair is too long) "You need a haircut."
Brother: (winning a game on PlayStation) "Yes! Get in!"
Uncle: (making plans) "We're gonna go and see The Bodyguard."
Aunt: (singing a song from the show after overhearing the conversation) "I have nothing, nothing, nothing... if I don't have you."
Next day...
Student: I know the alphabet.
Teacher: OK, go on.
Student: "You need a haircut."
Teacher: How dare you make comments like this! Do you want to go to the headteacher?
Student: "Yes! Get in!"
Teacher: What do you think you're going to be doing?
Student: "We're gonna go and see The Bodyguard."
*In headteacher's office*
Headteacher: Now, I hear you were very rude to the literacy teacher earlier. What do you have to say for yourself?
Student: "I have nothing, nothing, nothing... if I don't have you."
It was 5:00 PM and I asked my sibling: "Can I have something to eat?"
He replied: "No, not until you tell me the alphabet."
So I said: "A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, U, V, W, X, Y, Z."
Then my sibling asked me: "Where's the T?"
I replied: "It's in the microwave, you just need to dish it up."
What starts with T, ends with T, and has T in it?
A teapot.
Why do orphans hate the letter F?
Because the F stands for the family that didn't want them.
What do you get from a co-worker with epilepsy for being accused of harassment? A "seize" and desist letter.
Kid: "LOOK OUT! A KILLER BEE!!!"
(B)
OKAY.
Why are S and U never thirsty?
They drink tea (T).
Your hairline is like the McDonald's logo. It's forming a perfect M.
Do you know the F in "orphan" stands for family?
There is no F in "orphan".
Exactly.
Wordle be like (pt3)
Any future Wordle jokes I'll just put into one mega comp.
STUCK 💛🩶🩶🩶💛
FOLKS 🩶🩶🩶💛💚
MAKES 🩶🩶💚💚💚
YIKES 💛🩶💚💚💚
Wordle be like (Part 2):
COMBS 💚🩶🩶🩶💚
CURES 💚💚🩶🩶💚
CULTS 💚💚🩶💚💚
Why is the Z the only politically correct letter?
Because all the other letters are not Z's.
You're really special.
But the R in special is silent.
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the “P” is silent.
My daughter has been writing letters asking Satan for gifts. Imagine my shock when I realized she has dyslexia.
Q: What's a conspiracy theorist's favorite letter? A: Q.
Why does nobody talk to the letter G?
Because it's always in the middle of awkward!
Due to her death, you can no longer get a letter from the Queen when you turn 100.
Instead, you now receive a text from Prince Andrew when you turn 14.
Your mom is so fat that she only knows three letters, which are "KFC."
What is the shortest month of the year?
May, it only has 3 letters!