Letter jokes
Why is dark spelt with a K and not a C?
Because they can’t see their parents.
Dear Slim Shady,
balls.
How do you spell ihop?
Then spell ihop and say "ness".
What does the 'w' in Africa stand for? Water.
Why does an orphan start with an "O"?
Because they only see their parents in their dream.
Why did the polack try writing a letter with his dick?
Because he didn't have a pen to write with.
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.
3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”
4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.
6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.
7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.
8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.
9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.
11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).
12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.
14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.
15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.
16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.
17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.
What does the F in "orphan" stand for?
"Family," but there is no F.
What's after R-P-G?
W.
I was at the bar late last night when a waitress screamed, "Anyone know CPR?" I said, "Shit, I know all the letters of the alphabet." Everyone laughed, well, except for this one guy.
Global warming is the average of temperature on Earth.
How do bees go to school?
They go on a school buzz.
"F" stand for family, that's why "orphan" is spelled with "ph."
The "f" on orphan stands for family.
I was having issues in my personal and professional life. I hated everyone. I was on the brink of a mental breakdown and depression. I decided to see a therapist about it. The therapist suggested that I should write letters to the people I hate and then burn them. I must admit I feel much better...
But now I don't know what to do with the letters.
The "p" in Africa stands for peace.
My birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
Why do orphans hate the letter FMD? Because F stands for "family," M stands for "mom," and D stands for "dad."
At the age of 100, you get a letter from the Queen. At 12, you get a DM from Prince Charles.
When you turn 100, you get a letter from the Queen. When you turn 16, you get a DM from Prince Andrew.