Lesbian jokes
One day I caught my sister talking to my girlfriend, and she said, "You never told me you're lesbian." I said, "No, not at all." My girlfriend asked, "Why did you not tell her?" and I said, "Because every time I bring a girl home, I hear too much noise in her room, and I never get the chance to kiss them because she's cleaning the trash." She said, "Yeah, the trash is her junk."
Gay orphans don't exist cuz they have no one to call "daddy," and lesbian orphans don't exist cuz they have no one to call "mommy."
What do lesbians cook for dinner?
They don't, they just eat out.
What does a lesbian call the other during sex?
Mummy.
Lesbian stands for:
L: Loving
E: Extra
S: Shitty
B: Bitches
I: I
A: Am attracted to
N: Nice girls.
What do turtles and lesbians have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
You're so ugly you make gay/lesbian people straight!
🤔 ❓ How do lesbians 😳 practice safe 🙏 sex they put condoms on dildos and then they put dildos inside of their 👄 👄 👄 mouths and then they perform fellatio on them
Why do gay men and lesbians believe that bisexual men don't exist because there is no such thing as male bisexuality?
Because it doesn't cycle 🚲.
What do you get when you cross a lesbian that is a feminazi, a lesbian that is a progressive democrat, a promiscuous woman that is a lesbian prostitute working inside a lesbian brothel in San Francisco, California, and one of Jehovah's Witnesses?
How do you know if a woman that is poor who is between 18-24 years old is poor enough to do anything for money to help pay her bills? She would be working as a lesbian prostitute inside a lesbian hotel in San Francisco, CA.
What do turtles and lesbians have in common? They both choke on plastic.
What do you call a German lesbian?
A krautmuncher.
What do you call a lesbian alien? A "lesbeening."
What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick.
Why don't lesbians like dick? Because they don't want their mouths looking like Jesus Christ's hands.
What do sea turtles and lesbians have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
I told my mom that I have a crush. She replied with: "So you like girls?" I said: "Uhm no no no." BUT I'm lesbian. Someone help, how do I tell her without her hitting me with a belt?
Imagine this... you're a lesbian, and you're doing it with your cannibal girlfriend. You say, "Eat me, baby!"
She pulls out a knife and fork.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lick-a-lot-of-puss.