Arms

vinman

What do you call a person with no arms or legs at your front door? Mat

Name

Rterstydr

What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs? Names.

Cow

Anonymous

What do you call a cow with no legs. Ground beef.

Cow

Anonymous

What do you call a cow with no legs. Ground Beef.

Tree

funny man

why don’t you see elephants hiding in trees? Bc they’re good at it.

Singing

Evelyn

I put my leg up in the air sometimes, singing ayo, I’m a flamingo…

Woman

Wife

A woman walks in to a dentists office sits on the counter and spreads her legs. The dentist says i think you have the wrong idea with that the woman replies last week you gave my husband his false teeth now you can get them out.

Bottom

Anonymous

What has a bottom at the top? – Your legs.

Sister

DatBoiChez

If I had a sister with only 1 leg… Wouldn’t her name be I-lean?

Cow

Anonymous

What do you call a cow who walks on two legs?

Lean beef.

Man

HooPharted

A man in a wheelchair and his friend were walking down the street Man in Wheelchair: * falls out of wheelchair* Friend: Are you okay? Man in Wheelchair: I can’t feel my legs

Door

memer42069

Why did Susie get cut from the soccer team? She has no legs! Who broke into my house by kicking down my door? Not Susie… But she still is in my basement, since she can’t run!

Animal

talkativebotsniper

What animal has five legs? A pitbull returning from a playground

Date

Anonymous

stephen hawking went on a date and come back with a broken leg, I can’t believe she stood him up

Wife

smartass

A man decides on a day that it is time to buy a pet. He goes to the pet store, looks around and sees a beautiful parrot, sitting quietly on a stick in his cage. Yet the beast has no feet and paws. “What is the matter with you?” the man thinks aloud. “Well, that’s how I was born, I’m actually a faulty parrot” says the bird. “Haha,” the man laughs, “it seems like that parrot understands what I’m saying and even answers!” “I understand everything you say, I am extremely intelligent and very well educated,” says the bird. “Well, if you’re so smart then tell me how you can stay on your stick without legs.” “Well,” says the parrot, “it’s a bit embarrassing, but okay, I wrap my little parrot penis around the stick, like a hook, but I hide that with my thick feathers.” “Wow, you really understand everything I say, do not you?” “Yes, yes,” replies the bird, "and I speak Spanish and English fluently, I can speak on a level about almost everything, politics, religion, sport and philosophy and I specialize in bird science, you should buy me, I am also a very good friend for you. " The man looks at the price tag, 200 euros is on it. “Sorry, I can not afford that.” “Psst,” whispers the parrot as he beckons the man with his wing closer. "Nobody wants me because I do not have legs, just bid 25 euros and you can take me with you." The man offers 25 euros and walks 5 minutes later with the parrot out of the store. A few weeks pass. The parrot is sensational. He is fun and interesting, gives good advice, is sympathetic to everyone, in short; the perfect roommate and friend. One day the man comes home from work and the parrot says “Pssssssssssst” while he beckons his wing again. The man comes close to the cage. “I do not know if I should tell you this,” says the parrot, “but it’s about your wife and the postman.” “What!?” says the man. “Well, the postman came to the door and your wife greeted him in a nothing disguised nightgown and kissed him flat on the mouth.” “And then,” the man hisses, “What happened then?” “Well, the postman came in, grabbed her nightgown and started caressing her everywhere.” “My God,” says the now furious man, “And what else did they do?” “Then he took off her nightgown, went through his knees and started to lick her everywhere, starting at her breasts and getting further and further down.” “And then, what happened, what else did they do?” the man screams . “No idea,” says the papgaai, “I got a boner and thundered off my stick …”

Depression

John Wicks Booth

Who works at IHOP? A girl with one leg. P1: Why did the chicken cross the road? P2: To get to the other side DUH?!? P1: No dumbass, its to get run over because he has depression, a chronic illness, and his father left him for a good for nothing pimp that doesn’t even give a shit about how he feels. (Kinda like me). P2: Holy shitr u ok? Some random eavesdropping fucker dials 911 in a hurry

Arms

Jason

What’s got 6 legs 3 arms and 3 heads?

The finish line at the Boston marathon

Difference

Anonymous

What’s the difference between a man and a table. The table doesn’t cry when I break it’s legs

Difference

Anonymous

“Why did Susie fall off the swing?” “Because she had no arms”

“Why could she get up off the ground?” “Because she had no friends”

“Knock knock” “Who’s there?” “Not Susie, she’s still on the ground”

“Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?” “Everywhere” “Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?” “Because it was in a different body bag”

“Why did Susie drop her ice cream?” “She was hit by a bus”

“Why did Susie fall off the swing?” “Someone threw a refrigerator at her”

Girl

Anonymous

What do you call a girl with only one leg? Eileen What about an Asian girl with only one leg? Irene

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